Just wanted to point out you beat the rival fanfic in terms of number of posts. 
2 Kudos
- Survivor Sucks
- Lions, Tigers, Survivors - Oh My!
- Survivor Spoilers
- MESS Hall Tribal Council
- MESS Hall Archive
- Survivor Speculation
- Survivor 20+
- The Amazing Race
- Big Brother
- Big Brother - PAST SEASONS
- The Apprentice
- American Idol
- American Idol PAST SEASONS
- The Mole
- Lost
- Other Shows That Suck
- Off Topic
- Clubs That Suck. No, Really.
- The Dump
- Monster Island
- Purgatory
- FAQ
- In Memory, 9/11/01
All-Star Survivor: Hawaii - final notes are up. I'm done!
| Started By | Comment | ||
|---|---|---|---|
 Yrik |
|||
|
Posts: 423 (02/18/08 11:49 AM) Registered user |
|
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1924 (02/18/08 3:01 PM) Registered user |
Yeah but you're only counting posts in this thread. Back when I originally posted this story, we easily had 3 or
4 thousand posts about it. So in terms of overall posts, it's not even close. My Alaska story alone probably had 5,000 posts.
Although, still, I'm impressed that we cleared 600 posts this time. I certainly wasn't expecting to get that many. Most people don't read Survivor stories anymore, so thanks. :) |
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1927 (02/19/08 3:54 AM) Registered user |
Okay I added two new sections tonight (one is kind of new, one is completely new), and with them I finally realized what the title of this episode needs to be.
This isn't an episode about Colleen. This is an episode about Tina! And I probably would have realized that if I had dumped The Defiant One as the
title way back at the start.
So anyway, this episode will now be titled "The Assassin." Read the last section and you'll see why. Although in the final draft, now I have to go back and backdate some of the earlier sections to make them more about Tina. Now that I realize it's her episode, I need to do a little tweaking. There shouldn't be any surprises at Tribal Council. I just haven't decided how I want to write it. I also haven't decided what John/Alicia/Colleen are going to do. P.S. I love the comment that Rob DID manage to avoid a 4-4 tie. He just didn't do it in the way he had intended. Oh my, how irony is fun. |
||
|
colleenlover |
|||
|
Posts: 7766 (02/19/08 10:37 AM) Registered User |
Good work -and exactly right (at least from my viewpoint) -Tina has her plan, and her quid pro quo with Vecepia -and John and Colleen would have to understand,
right? I mean Rob drew first blood in Tina's mind. how can Ahi fault her for that? Tina is in it to win it -hard.
Now it will be fun to see what Rob does -I don't think he'll go quietly, but it is too late, isn't it? Will he ask Jeff to go first in voting, write down Tina's name and run back with it to the players showing, "Look, I wrote down Tina! I wrote down Tina!" Poor Rob, he was sunk no matter what he did though, even if he didn't vote Frank out -but that's what happens. |
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1930 (02/20/08 6:13 PM) Registered user |
I wrote the end of episode 9 tonight. It's a good one! I should have it posted by the end of the night, and then I can start whittling the whole episode
into a final draft.
I never thought I would have believed it, but this episode actually ends kind of sad. I didn't really plan to do that, it just happened. |
||
|
colleenlover |
|||
|
Posts: 7774 (02/20/08 9:41 PM) Registered User |
oh, god! Mother of God, you little tease!!! Why?!!!!!!! Arggghhh, the agony of waiting, oh the humanity. And the sad thing is I'm not even
exaggerating.
Looking forward to it. Finally something to expand on and theorize about what will happen next. I think there will be something sad to all the boots from now on -we're invested, and their invested -each one trying really hard, and in a way trying to prove something. It's really interesting. I love the Tina/Vee scene -mainly because I can picture it, and how rational they would both be, "Man, well, Rob would help my position but I can see your point" etc, etc. For Tina's plan, well I can't imagine the Kekos can benefit her, so it must be how to keep John and Colleen in check, and then not to have them work together. |
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1932 (02/21/08 1:54 AM) Registered user |
Okay I swapped some of the scenes around in the ending and I like it better now. It's not as sad as it was originally. Instead I decided to make it a
little more... mysterious. :)
http://www.acsn2.com/~locbaseb/hawaii/hawaii_9_wc.htm Just as a side note, this episode was an enormous bitch to write because of the last minute decision to redo the entire episode. I originally expected the episode to be about Colleen and have Vecepia leave, and in the end, it turned out to be about Tina and someone else left. When I start editing it down to a final draft, I may have to shift the focus in some of the earlier paragraphs. In any case, thank you for the patience and the support, because this was the hardest episode I've ever had to do. Episode 10 shouldn't take 2 months like episode 9 did. :-P And yes, CL, episode 10 is still called The Spoiler. I'm keeping the Spoiler twist. For those of you who don't know what that is, you'll see. I swiped it from the Mole. |
||
|
colleenlover |
|||
|
Posts: 7777 (02/21/08 9:37 AM) Registered User |
looks good- and it's true that there was only so much the boot could do.
Everything makes sense to me, except the motivation of Colleen -which may be fine not knowing for now. But in the beginning of the episode, she's the one to tell him she knows Tina will switch, then Gretchen confirms it. She was pretty mad at Rob herself at the beginning of the episode, and can easily see Tina's reasoning. So, I can understand her not voting for Rob (after what he did for her) but she can't be dim enough not to know he's going -so I have to read again if the Kathy vote is a throwaway, and if she is lying to Rob when he asks her if he's going. great ending, and the tension between a juror member and active player is great -even if Rob is being quite a bit of a hypocrite (but hey, who isn't?) |
||
|
colleenlover |
|||
|
Posts: 7778 (02/21/08 9:49 AM) Registered User |
So Rob goes into council thinking who's the target? What did John and Vecepia tell Rob about who the vote is for? maybe it was just mass confusion on
camp life, and Rob just said, "yeah whatever," and didn't solidify anything since he knew it was pointless.
With this logic, Colleen must also A) know Rob is the target from Gretchen and B) knew Ahi's batting order was Michael, Kathy, etc and is just staying loyal to the group as a whole while knowing her vote won't matter. Anxious to know Tina's plan -keeping Colleen out of the loop is very dangerous right now especially if Colleen's only power will be to tip the scales in which group to give a million to -and Gretchen will probably win out for integrity reasons. |
||
|
Kitty Pryde1 |
|||
|
Posts: 2650 (02/21/08 9:53 AM) |
The link doesn't work.
|
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1933 (02/21/08 10:03 AM) Registered user |
Yes it does. Try again.
|
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1934 (02/21/08 10:05 AM) Registered user |
Yeah the whole Colleen/Tina who knew what, how does Colleen react, part of the ending needs to be tweaked in the final draft. Since I was changing the focus
of the episode so dramatically along the way, there were bound to be some inconsistencies. But now that I go back and read the whole thing with the ending in
mind, I should be able to draw it all together a little better. It's hard to know what I need to include in the episode until I know how it ends.
|
||
|
DMC362 |
nice | ||
|
Posts: 63 (02/21/08 1:42 PM) |
I like all the forshadowing for what may or maynot come. Like how you tried to throw a curve ball at the end.
|
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1935 (02/21/08 1:56 PM) Registered user |
Haha. Yeah I want the tone at the end of this episode to be really ominous. As in.... yes, things might have changed, but watch out. Because I want the
story to start changing tones in the next few episodes. I want it to get less fun and a little more serious.
Now whether Rob's little promise will actually mean anything in the future, I don't know. I just threw all that in at the end to give me some options if I wanted to use them. I think I've said it before, but one of the best tools you can give yourself as an author is to give yourself options. Even if you don't follow up on every plot lead, you always want to have as many as you can so you don't get roped into a particular storyline. I expect that the ending will be even tighter in the final draft, now that I decided I want the episode to be about. In the final version, it should flow into that ending much smoother. |
||
|
Kitty Pryde1 |
|||
|
Posts: 2656 (02/21/08 2:39 PM) |
Nope, it's not working for me. And neither is the funny 115 site.
|
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1936 (02/21/08 2:46 PM) Registered user |
Well the acsn2 domain is up, I just checked. What is probably happening is that you are reloading a cached version of the page, from a time when acsn2 was
down. Try hitting ctrl-refresh and see if that works. Either that or clear out your pages visited cache, and see if that works. Because I know both sites
are up, I just checked them.
|
||
|
Kitty Pryde1 |
|||
|
Posts: 2658 (02/21/08 2:56 PM) |
Got it. First thoughts: Rob is a complete dick. Second thoughts: Where the hell does he get off on trashing Tina? It's not like he's ever been on
her side or kept her friends around.
|
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1937 (02/21/08 4:04 PM) Registered user |
Since when is Survivor about people being logical?
|
||
|
Jenne |
Flashback | ||
|
Posts: 43 (02/22/08 9:41 PM) |
Haven't been on here in a million years and stumbled on your thread Mario. I can't believe after all these years these stories are living on. I
always said you were a fabulous writer so it's nice to see your stories see the light again. Greece will of course always be my favorite!
But I think I was most excited to see Marcy on here! After all these years! As thrilled as I was to leave all that behind, a sentimental corner of my heart wonders where everyone is these days. So Hello to Marcy if you are still around! 5yrs ago Mario...5 long years ago... Much Love, Jenne |
||
|
SenseiKreese |
|||
|
Posts: 1941 (02/22/08 11:26 PM) Registered user |
Hey Jenne,
Thanks for stopping by. Yes Greece is probably my personal favorite of the stories as well. Even though it was never as well received as Alaska or Hawaii, I always thought it was the most ambitious of the three stories. There's no way I would have the time or the energy to pull off something like Greece these days. That story took a hell of a lot of planning. We've missed you at Sucks! -Mario P.S. I still don't know what a head shop is. |
||
- Survivor Sucks
- Lions, Tigers, Survivors - Oh My!
- Survivor Spoilers
- MESS Hall Tribal Council
- MESS Hall Archive
- Survivor Speculation
- Survivor 20+
- The Amazing Race
- Big Brother
- Big Brother - PAST SEASONS
- The Apprentice
- American Idol
- American Idol PAST SEASONS
- The Mole
- Lost
- Other Shows That Suck
- Off Topic
- Clubs That Suck. No, Really.
- The Dump
- Monster Island
- Purgatory
- FAQ
- In Memory, 9/11/01
