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gay men have standards?

Hmmm... Well... Excellent question. And not near as rhetorical as you might think.

It really depends on so many variables and exactly how one might define "standards."

Any more than five Long Island Ice Teas -- standards become diffuse. Who here among us hasn't stumbled into a men's room at a gay club and gotten a fast blow job after five Long Island Ice Teas? Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar.

SOMETIMES we will go home without getting our dicks off if all we have to choose from are double-amputees and whichever minority we currently have a beef with. Now and then we will also reject very old men using canes or walkers and/or portable oxygen.

See, we can close our eyes and think of a guy we had that was really hot. We just try not to peek -- that can ruin everything.

Occasionally, it IS really all about "location, location, location." When the dude suggests we meet him on the corner and then walk back to his house and whip it out in the yard behind the garbage cans because his wife is sleeping inside... well, if it's less than 44 degrees that evening it is likely we might take a pass on that little scenario. Although... I did once hobble out in a raging snowstorm with a brace on my knee to meet up with this dude in a conversion van. That turned out OK.




As for flirting with women -- I don't have the time nor the inclination.

However, I sure don't have to put any effort into that anyway. The ladies adore me just as I am.

Ain't that right, bitches?