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Baby drops Michael Jackson from hotel balcony

Jewish World Review ^ | Nov. 21, 2002 | Andy Borowitz



'I'm tired of that freak,' says angry baby



Passers-by in Berlin were shocked today as they witnessed the spectacle of a tiny, angry eight-month-old baby dangling Michael Jackson by the foot from a balcony of the luxurious Aldon Hotel.



As the stunned crowd gasped below, the visibly enraged baby let go of Mr. Jackson's foot, letting the self-styled "King of Pop" fall seventy feet to the pavement below.



"Beat that!" the baby was overheard shouting, in an apparent reference to the once-popular entertainer's hit single from his platinum-selling "Thriller" album of two decades ago.



The baby, who was immediately nabbed by Berlin police, was identified at Prince Michael II, son of Mr. Jackson and listed in Burke's Peerage as "The Crown Prince of Pop."



In am expletive-laden police confession released later in the day, the outspoken baby revealed that he had dropped Mr. Jackson out of the window because the moonwalking entertainer and finally become "just too weird."



"I'm tired of that freak," the eight-month-old said in one of the few printable exchanges in the interview transcript. "You try living with a guy who takes an oxygen tank everywhere he goes and sleeps with a llama. Whoever started calling him 'Wacko Jacko' really said it all."



After falling seventy feet to the pavement, Mr. Jackson shattered into more than one thousand synthetic pieces, observers said.



But plastic surgeons at Berlin Metropolitan Hospital said that Mr. Jackson was currently being reassembled and was "doing well."



"The only piece that appears to be missing is his nose, but Mr. Jackson has demonstrated that he can survive without one," a hospital spokesman said.