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The Celebrity Apprentice 2 (also known as The Apprentice 8) is the eighth installment of the United States version of the reality television series, The Apprentice. It premiered on March 1, 2009. The Celebrity Apprentice 2 aired for two hours on Sundays at 9:00 Eastern time.^[1] Joan Rivers was the winner, while Annie Duke was the runner-up.

1. Dennis Rodman. I don't keep up with sports and I didn't watch celebrity reality shows until Celebrity Apprentice, but even I knew who Dennis Rodman was. And here, well, it was kinda weird. Most of his run, he was drinking cranberry vodkas and not really doing any work. At one point, he brought a model over to supposedly help for a task, but then they and Tom Green just go out partying and perhaps tag-teaming the model (or, more likely, Tom Green just sat in the corner and watched while giving commentary). This led to a hilariously awkward and weird moment where everyone holds an intervention for Rodman, including Jesse James talking to Rodman about his personal experiences with alcohol abuse and shit. Rodman was fired, and they even put up a number for dealing with alcohol abuse or something. Pretty fucking weird to choose the fucking Celebrity Apprentice to do a "The More You Know" message.
2. The Double-Firing of Bullshit. It's no surprise that Trump pulls the occasional bullshit firing, and this is when he did two in one episode. Both teams lost, albeit because the execs had no fucking clue what the fuck they were talking about when they said they wanted a viral video, and Trump was gonna fire one from each team. First, Melissa's team, where Tionne Watkins volunteered to go to the final boardroom, which prompted Trump to spout off about Bradford from season 2 pulling the same shit (which I'll get into in TA2's write-up) before firing her for offering to get in the line of fire like that. A little extreme and rather ridiculous, though at least it sort of makes sense. Then, despite Clint being the clear reason his team lost, Trump targets Khloe Kardashian because... she has a DUI. That's right, Trump decides to fire Khloe for having a DUI, something she had shown she regretted doing and was doing her best to make amends for it. That was really sickening, because it had nothing to do with the fucking task, was very fucking sketchy, and Trump is far from a fucking saint himself, especially when it comes to shit like objectifying women. Khloe's firing may just be the most bullshit in Apprentice history, and remember that includes Derek getting fired for calling himself "white trash." Well, OK, nothing's more bullshit than that, but it was still fucking ridiculous. Ugh.
3. Melissa Rivers. This woman was batshit insane. She mainly did this show to prove she wasn't just living in her mother's shadow, despite her mom being on the same fucking show. And her mother ended up defending her anyway, with Melissa alternating between telling her to and telling her not to. The real insanity began after Annie Duke and Brande Roderick became BFFs, which enraged Melissa and caused her to think they were conspiring to eliminate her, when in fact the two didn't really plan to do so. Melissa went on and on about how much she hated them and how they were setting her up and on and on and on and SHUT THE FUCK UP. She was fucking delusional, and it factored into her firing, as well as the fact that, well, Annie and Brande were just much more competent and were the biggest fundraisers at that point. Melissa's firing spurned one of the greatest moments in Apprentice history, as she hobbled into the rest area and told Joan about those "whore-pit vipers" and hobbled around screaming, with Joan following. It was fantastic, and words alone don't do it justice, so watch it on Youtube.
4. Clint Black. This guy got tore up by the editing. At first, he was made to look like a giant douchebag by his teammates, including when Rodman screamed at him for some random reason, and then when he was first PM, he made this ridiculous commercial where he shut everyone out and instead made some sexual innuendo involving laundry detergent which ended up looking like him masturbating with laundry detergent as lubricant or some shit. He actually looked less crappy after that, but still overstayed his welcome by reaching the F5 before being fired. Clint was pissed at the editing, and he had a good moment when Trump asked him who he'd fire of the F2 when he replied, "The editors." The guy was a mess, but at least an entertaining mess.
5. Brande Roderick. A Playboy playmate, she actually turned out to be one of the stronger competitors of the season. She had some weak episodes, but overall she and Annie ended up being an unstoppable duo who dominated a lot of the second-half of the season, both making it to the F4. The problem is that while Brande was a strong player and was the #2 fundraising player there, she was allied with a cutthroat ruthless gamer who was an even stronger player and who easily brought in the most money, and who had a great rivalry with Joan Rivers to boot, so unsurprisingly she left at the F4.
6. Jesse James. Married to Sandra Bullock, this guy probably relied the least of any contestant on fundraising, instead opting for just being strong during tasks, much like in the older seasons of The Apprentice. It was nice to see someone who didn't simply attack a task by getting rich friends to throw money at him, and I can understand why he did it, since I'm the type of person who wouldn't want to harass people I barely knew just to get them to donate money to my cause. He was very laid-back, perhaps too laid-back, and got along with everyone besides Clint at times. He made the F4 but eventually got fired because of his lack of potential fundraising and that he was just plain hard to read.
7. Annie Duke. From Day 1, she was a dominant presence, sometimes even trying to take over a task herself. She was a very strong player, though she earned the ire of the Rivers by allying with Brande, whom the Rivers women hated, and thus began the epic Joan/Annie rivalry. When they went head-to-head as PMs, Annie won and ended up raising an astounding amount, netting close to $250k for her charity on that task alone. The rivalry fueled after Melissa was fired, and it became inevitable that the F2 would contain these two headstrong, dominant women. You were either an Annie fan or a Joan fan, and I was definitely in the Annie camp, as I respected her ruthless gameplay and thought Joan's comments were too over-the-top despite her appearing to take the entire thing way too seriously. Despite that, Annie eventually did let Joan get the best of her, focusing too much on Joan as even Tom Green pointed out, and she ended up losing in the end, though even with Trump's $250k she still raised more than Joan, but I'll get to that in a minute.
8. The event planner. Here's our bullshit controversial moment during the final task. Both teams had the same event planner, and Joan asks him to do a bunch of shit or something. A little ridiculous, maybe, but the guy totally over-reacts and pulls out of both teams, including Annie's. Annie gets pissed at Joan, but the real problem is this piece of shit being such a fucking pussy over Joan fucking Rivers telling him what to do. The guy ends up looking pathetic for not being able to handle Joan Rivers, who wasn't even being all that rude. If he can't cope with Joan, how the hell does he actually do his job when working with other people who are likely even more demanding? The only possible explanations are that it was planned by the producers/Trump, or the guy is fucking clueless. It was all just fucking stupid.
9. Joan Rivers. Joan also dominated the tasks, kicking all kinds of ass and making some great comments along the way. When it came to hosting events or dealing with people, Joan had no rival. She was entertaining and delightful to watch, at least until she decided to attack Annie for allying with Brande and later not lying down to let her daughter win. This behavior really turned me off of her, since she was so over-the-top, like comparing Annie to Hitler, while apparently not saying it tongue-in-cheek, making it look like she really believed what she was saying. The entire thing was ridiculous, but it also led to a great rivalry between the season's two strongest players, and we got one hell of a finale. As I said, I was an Annie fan, but Joan did end up winning the final task, so based on that I can understand her winning, though everyone saying she deserved to win because she was old yet still lively was stupid rather than talking about how she won the final challenge, like Piers did, or how amazing she was entertaining people when hosting during tasks. The show soured me on Joan, but at least I'll admit she deserved to win.
10. $250,000, really? So Trump gave Joan $250,000 as the winner of The Celebrity Apprentice, knocking her up to $526,547.39. So what's the problem? Annie raised $730,725, which is more than Joan raised even with Trump's prize. I'm not arguing Annie deserved to win since the show emphasized that fundraising wasn't the only important factor in winning, but rather I'm saying Trumps donation looks so pathetic. Only $250,000? Can't you knock it up to a million or at least $500k? Trump looks cheap doing it, especially if his donation doesn't even bump the winner up above second place's earnings. Even a $500k prize would've bumped Joan to first in funds raised. Yeah, there's also the exposure for their charities, but both finalists get that anyway. Surely with how cheap this show is to produce and all the money they get from product placement and how the ratings are actually good for NBC's new pathetically low standards, they could bump up the prize money up from the same amount they give away on fucking I Love Money?