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AHHH< we are off to a roaring start this summer. My Friday recrap is being posted late because I just came out of my feed induced coma from FUCKING BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were really spoiled over the past 3 seasons with the twists. I don't remember when we realized there was a Nadria component but the early hateon against the 4 jackasses kept us busy on the feeds. Then in 6, they let us know about the pairs, so we watched and watched to figure out the pairs. And let's face it, that casting hit it out of the park, nerd herd and all. I remember early in 6, April kept us entertained because she gossiped all day, we hated crappy, the chess games, and googy eyes with Janie/Michael/Kaysar was fantastic.

Then in all stars, we knew everyone and enjoyed the Sovs in the house again (even the haters). That is completely LACKING this year. Danielle, she is very young and between her being on slop which gives them NO energy, and her withdrawal coping mechanism to deal with wayward papa in the house isn't giving the producers what they might have expected. I also think that the producers weren't expecting papa to respect her need for space and actually be decent about it.

Then we get to our lightweight gay boys. Joe is frankly pretty stupid and Dustin is just well, Dustin. They remind me of 2 pesky flies that you tolerate and then flick away when they get on your nerves. However, what is way too funny is both think they have game. Joe is delusional and thinks he is creating alliances and has worked the house. Dustin is more on the down low but has no finesse or game face. That being said, however, they have NOTHING interesting to say, at least during the day. Last night Joe attempted to tell ghost stories but only managed to seriously piss off Eric by blockading that tiny door when they tried to create a totally blacked out room in that little bed bedroom. They had words about that in the wee hours of the morning. Joe apologized profusely but didn't quite understand why Eric was so pissed. However, this morning, Eric apologized all over the house for coming unglued. It really wasn't that big of a thing to hear.

Then we have the former BFF's. They basically avoid each other so no drama there. So, I think the producer twist this year fell really flat. And when you mess with casting to get a twist, then it does impact the chemistry in the house with the rest of the people cast for the show. We really don't have any over the top personalities to cause us vomit all over the keyboard, yet.

Now on to the recrapping. We had FIVE HOURS of Power of Veto competition yesterday and the braniac producers gave us trivia for 4 of it, even though they had 7 of the hamsters locked in the HOH room away from the competition. They could have at least let us see that, over the very old, tired, reused trivia from last year. (Hint to the producers, why didn't you have them write new trivia questions to make productive use of their time on Friday?!!). Finally they turned on the feeds to the HOH and we found Jen in there trying to be the queen bee to 6 of the guys in the house. These were the ones who weren't picked for POV competition. We had Zach, Dustin, Joe, Dick, Eric and Nick up there with Jen. She might have thought she was the queen bee, but basically her obnoxious self absorbed personhood is guaranteed to make a guy's raging hardon limp for a year. Girlfriend, there is NOT enough Viagara in the universe to counter what this bimbo will do to a man's libido.

Girls like Jen are so dime a dozen. They are born with some good DNA that creates a decent looking exterior. She has good curves and I think they are all natural, I could be wrong. So a STRAIGHT guy would get a woody looking at the package, especially in the skin tight, way too small so we see camel toe bikinis that she wears. And when she is barely dressed, she has all this JEN(whatever) shit in large letters across her bosom (pink tank tops over black sports bra or sumphin) so pervy skippy (the cameraman for those new to our board), gives us way too many closeups of her fun bags. I believe she is using her time in the house to be "discoverd", but is way too damn stupid to understand NO ONE from this show has gone on to be famous. So we have decided she is auditioning for Miss November in the upcoming Playboy issue.

Now with Jen, the worst part is, she is the "ringer" that Troll (booger from chilltown) has way overcoached and got probably Erika to casther on the show. EVERYTHING this twat does is scripted. She makes sure she is posing near the better looking guys in the house, she walks all over the house in her too tight bikinis to get the cameras to follow her. Now here is the icing on the cake for this twat. She fabricated a "date" with Mike (finally we remembered who the faceless meathead is yesterday). She got this braniac idea when they had to put their house back together when it got destroyed in a hide the veto, find the veto competition. Oh, by the way, Danielle won. I guess no one found her veto that she hid INSIDE the peanut butter. So Jen was putting her clothes away and realized she had "too many cute clothes she hasn't worn" and told Mike that their date just became a "dress up" date.

Yeah, I am SO SURE that date had been prearranged because of a sincere attraction moving on to a showmance. So NOT. So twat is upstairs in the HOH bathroom primping up and meathead is downstairs putting his mighty fine body into a nice grey dress shirt and whatever. He went upstairs and brought her a fake flower and picked her up. So gag me, so contrived. Interestingly enough, this did not START until the Showtime After Dark show feeds went live on TV. Meathead then cooked her dinner, meticulously cleaned up. They ate it outside on the patio. Then they went in for their mandatory change into scintillating skimpy swimsuits and did the jacuzzi, AFTER sitting in the hammock barely looking or talking to each other. If these 2 mactors want to become hollywood stars, they could not even do a convincing fake romance on Big Brother Feeds. Their "date" ended, coincidentally, when the Showtime feeds ended This whole little scenario had trolls fingerprints all over it. You just KNOW that he coached her to do all of these obvious things to get screen time. She told Mike during her date last night that she purchased 50 variations of Jenius, Jenwhatever websites and she thinks there will be demand for her tank tops to sell on her website when the show is over. This bitch is NO Janie and will NEVER be popular like Janie. I haven't read the other boards, but it will be interesting to read to find out if they see through this and despise this twat as much as I do. And have the other boards figure out the gay factor this season?

Now let me tell you how this date was just so wrong on so many levels. First of all, twat doesn't realize that there is only ONE STRAIGHT guy in the house. . And that is the one she loathes the most. She was just nasty over the past week to Dick because she doesn't want his "cancer claws" anywhere near her. That is probably why that cast photo in the pool looks so weird. I am going to take the time to go back and look at that photo now that I can tell these folks apart. Remember how we comented on one half being all close and the other half standing aloof from each other? Well this little spat about not wanting Dick to touch her with his "cancer claws" during the food competition really hurt his feelings and they had it out in the HOH during the POV competition. I missed the live action, but apparently all the guys left her on the bed alone and they all sat way across the room after that altercation.

So this twat wanna be famous actress/model managed to turn off all 6 men in that room at once. They all pretty much despise her. The only one who was not up there was Mike, her fake date from last night.

Now let's get back to what we figured out yesterday on the feeds. THEY ARE ALL GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except Dick, and he has his own issues. Dayum that guy is a tattooed wreck. I have no idea what "hot pussy" fucks him because he claims he gets his. I don't find him attractive. But he is gold for the feeds, he is the only colorful character in the house (pardon the pun). Ok, why do we think these guys are gay?

1) Nick admist to blowing a guy and his dad caught him. He has only been with 5 gals and lost his virginity at 21 (now why do I think that was AFTER his blow job servicing?)

2) Zach lunged across the jacuzzi and nibbled Nick on the neck. He has NOT made any passes at any of the girls

3) Mike, give it up already, no way is this guy straght. He is just way too gay in looks, the way he is just so tidy and he appears to be the house bitch. He is doing the cooking and cleaning, at least he did yesterday.

4) Eric was the surprise. He was teasing twat last night that he might not want his turn at her "date". She had grandly announced to the late night squad that since there are 7 guys in the house, and 7 days, she will allow each one a date night, but only if they aren't on slop. Eric pipes up and says, what if I want to date one of the guys instead. Light bulb moment. Us late night feed watchers came alive on that one. The pieces have all come together. I am not sure the producers realized they cast 6 of 7 gay guys in this season.

And of course we have the 2 former lovers that are flamers. So we have a house full of men who are distinctly lacking in some serious straight testosterone flirt juice. Because the gals in the house are mostly very young, they haven't figured this out. I think this factor is one of the reason this season is so much more boring to start than past seasons. There just aren't enough randy guys horndogging over the pretty girls in the house.

OK, what else happened yesterday. Zach consoled Carol when she realized she was dead toast after Danielle won the POV. He wrapped her little body into his garganuant arms and she cried on the couch. Then TWAT came over and told her to buck up because it is allways the criers who get evicted early because no one wants to be around unhappy people. Can you believe TWAT is that lacking in social skills?

The hamsters spent about an hour cleaning up the house. I hope some people got some good screen caps of that. I had my bbreloader on really small and the pictures I snapped did not come through very well. I learned that I need to have the screen on 2x for good detail in those situations. During that time, Carol complained that the cupboards are staining her white clothes pinkish (perhaps the paint was not all dry, who knows), and Jen was complaining about her nice clothes being trashed. Everyone else seemed to pitch in and get everything nice and tidy. Mike worked the hardest. Remember, he is the house bitch in that regards.

Amber ran around the house locking in votes yesterday in a very desperate mode. She needs to chill the fuck out. Carol is clueless. She doesn't understand the game. Dustin and Carol were the recruited hamsters this year. The producers need to teach their recruits the game before they go into the house.

Once the POV drama ended, not much really happened last night. Mike stayed up really late with Dick. Eric got up because he was pissed about Joe blocking that door, argued with Joe about it, Joe went back to bed where he giggled with Jessica for hours and Eric stayed up with Dick and Mike. So we have 2 fag hags. Jessica is Joe's fag hag and Amber is Dustin's fag hag.

Danielle has Nick and Zach hovering around her all the time. I think they think they will look straight if they hang around the pretty blonde.

Jameka's personality shined a little bit last night. We got to see her interact with the houseguests and she is very well liked by all of them.

Kail was the invisible HOH once again. I think she must use that producer's door in the wall upstairs and goes on break from the game with the crew. She is just NOT visible in the house.

Mike spoke maybe 500 words again, the whole day, of which 450 were very forced on his fake date "because I want to look straight with the hot girl and get air time" episode.

You know, it is very hard to write witty, interesting daily recraps with such lame material to write about. I will valiantly strive to sally forth daily. But in the meantime, I have a Daytona Pepsi 400 to watch. Peace Out.