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I have given him time. Loads of time. I work full time and I spend my spare time setting up my apartment and filling out job apps and I could have finished the rankings by now. In fact, allow me to demonstrate:

7. Kat/Kitty - who could like a team comprised of two people who U-Turned the awesome Level 5? Well, everyone, but that's beside the point. They might have been top five if they weren't such mean bedwetters.
6. Stan/Xophie - I didn't actually read this season, despite the fact that I hosted it, so I'm not sure how these guys made it this high or what they did.
5. Lisa/Tybias - Weren't they nice? Awwww.
4. Jin-woo & Sang-mi - Part of one of the greatest showmance pairings ever. FIERCE Asians.
3. Boomie/Whatevia - I bet you all thought they were going to win, yet again. Well how could they possibly be the greatest winners ever when a certain other pair haven't appeared yet. It's IMPOSSIBLE and anyone who thinks otherwise is a toothless crack whore. Sorry, college apps are making me angry.
2. Wan/Chung - the greatest villains of all time. There should be an All Stars just so they can come back and kick arse again. Yes, that's right, I'm American but I spell it 'arse.'
1. Lachlan/Gabriel - of course they were the best team ever. Just because they sucked in every leg except the finale doesn't make them bad. In fact, it made their win even more incredible. The world shed chocolate rivers of joy when they won and the world became a better place. I think I'm understating the importance of their win.

There, done and done. A little more terse than AT's write-ups, but it gets the job done.

Edited because even after being here so long, I still can't get used to not being able to write t.ears.