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A big brown bear walks into a beefsteak bar and says to the barman, "Barman, bring me a beer."

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and belches broadly.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and starts behaving badly.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and badmouths the barman.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and breaks a beaker.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers."

So the bear goes, "Grrrrr! Barman, bring me a beer!" and takes a bite out of the bar.

The barman says, "I'm sorry sir, this is a beefsteak bar. We don't bring beer to big brown bears, and we certainly don't bring beer to bears who belch broadly, and we definitely don't bring beer to bears who behave badly, and we refuse to bring beer to bears who badmouth the barman, and we never bring beer to bears who break beakers, and under no circumstances will we bring beer to bears who take drugs."

"Eh?" says the bear, somewhat surprised. "I don't take drugs."

"Really?" says the barman. "What about that bar bit you ate?"

A man was having a whiskey and water in his favorite bar when he noticed a small creature in the water glass. He called over the bartender, expecting another drink on the house. Instead, the barkeep said, "You lucky dog, do you know what that is? That's a 'Rarey', and they're so rare, that's only the second one I've seen!" As per plan, the man was somewhat mollified. With the bartender's instructions on keeping the rarey wet, he took it home.
The man kept the Rarey in a water glass for a few weeks, but as it grew larger, he had to to transfer it into a pitcher. Weeks passed, and the man proudly showed off his pet to all his friends and neighbors. After the Rary had progressed from a small aquarium to a very large one, he began to realize that showing the Rarey to people for nothing was a futile exercise.
As interested as people were, they must surely be willing to pay for a viewing. With that in mind, the man went on the road with his Rarey. He rigged up a tank inside a truck, with doors, steps, and railings, allowing people to pay admission, then file through the truck. He hooked up with a small carnival, and the money began to roll in. He traveled all over the Eastern Seaboard with the little carnival, progressing only into a larger truck, as the Rarey continued to grow.
By the time the carnival reached St Louis, the man's Rarey had grown so large, he was carried in a custom tank inside a custom trailer pulled by a big semi tractor. The man realized that his attraction had also outgrown the small traveling carnival, so he said his goodbyes and became associated with the Barnum & Bailey circus. The man and his now famous Rarey traveled in style, on a circus railroad train. By the time they reached Albuquerque, the trailer had grown large enough to fill one flatcar all by itself. All these custom modifications for the transport of the Rarey were certainly quite expensive, but it seemed the public just couldn't get enough - the money just rolled in.
After extended engagements all over Southern California, the circus moved up the coast, and by this time, the Rarey had outgrown the semi trailer, and was now ensconced in a huge tank that was part of an oversized railcar. The man became a little worried, because although admissions were making him rich, he realized that the end was near. No larger tank would be possible that would still allow him to travel with the circus, and of course, the Rarey just kept on growing.
The man hoped to make it as far North as San Francisco and perhaps even Seattle, but at the engagement in Monterey, the seams of the tank were weakening, and the end was obviously nigh. Very slowly, the tank car was shunted onto a cliffside rail siding. The man was faced with the dilemma of a Rarey disposal. The most obvious solution involved the return of the Rarey to its natural environment: the water. So the brokenhearted man hired a huge derrick to lift one side of the cliffside rail car. Just as the Rarey was about to slide out of the huge tank, a drunken hobo walked up, looked down over the side of the cliff overlooking the great Pacific Ocean, and said, "Its a Long Way to Tip a Rarey!"....