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23. Jessica Hughbanks, BB8 (Score: 89.3)


The first of many on our list from BB8 (I know, I know), Jessica Hughbanks was truly the person most robbed of $500K in the show's history. Her friendly southern charms earned her few enemies in the house aside from a mild middle school rival that was quickly dealt with. I mean, for fuck's sake, the girl managed to avoid the whiny rants of Evel Dick which says it all. Then there's her admirable ability to win HOH when necessary, making her anything but the nice girl that floats to the end. Strategically, she may have been the brightest minded in her season. Take for example her spidey-sense realizing that the Donatos needed to be chopped in half at the Final 7 because they were absolutely untrustworthy trailer trash. Of course, despite protests to her production controlled robot of an alliance mate, she was forced to go after the SeaHag instead. *sigh*

A week later, we all groaned (except Louie) when the smug Daniele took the first shot at pulling apart her foursome and chucking Eric & Jessica into the grinder. Truthfully, Jessica's low placing on the list should have an asterisk next to it as she was forced to have a diminished final result because of Alison Grodner's mastabatory fantasies of dick (she'll take any, not just the Evel kind). Her accomplishments and gameplay are downplayed in the same way as a moron dismissing Mike Piazza's home run totals because Mark McGwire hit more which is pretty ludicrous given that McGwire played an easier position (first base) just as the Donatos had an easier position (being family members in a twist that was supposed to involve actual rivals- who the fuck votes out their own daughter?). Then there's the other half of it, McGwire took steroids and the Donatos had America's Player. All I'm saying is that it's an absolute travesty that one of the most well-rounded players in the show's history was undone not by someone one-upping her but by manipulative editing and a fool hardy public gumming down a total asshole painted as a righteous hero.

Unfortunately, I'm forced to continue my anti-Donato rants because some of you fuckers don't know how to vote correctly.

She didn't really have much of a choice though. Eric was her closest ally and it would've been suicide to try and go it alone. Being HOH is all about appeasing as many people as possible. Aligning with the Donatos wasn't a bad move from her stance because the remaining one (if one left at F9) was bound to win an HOH anyway. You might as well be on the side of the person that could backdoor you if necessary. Eliminating the competitive threats (Dick/Daniele/Jen) would've only led Eric/Jessica into a F6 with Jameka/Dustin/Amber/Zach where the two of them were the obvious pair. Eric would've been sent packing ASAP, leaving Jessica forced to win a few key HOHs at the end of the game. Better odds with the Donatos. Using them to cut out some of their own and then pointing the cannon at the father-sister duo was the right move. Too bad the producers wouldn't allow her the last part of that plan.