So, shock of all shocks, I landed a job at the local Vons, just right down the street. I work with a lot of weirdos; strange people with their eyes way too
close together. Lots of uglies, and fatties, and ugly fatties. Pretty bleak. I've been working there for a few weeks, and from what I can see, it's
really more boring than anything. Everyone who works there is alarmingly stupid so there's not a lot of intelligent, or even semi-interesting conversation
to be made, plus, there's too much standing up for my liking. Forcing cheer has never been one of my strong points, but I've always been able to mask
my general disdain for most things well enough, so I guess I do okay. Customers seem to like me, but I attribute that to my marginal good looks and rack rather
than to my actual personality. I basically just make sure to be really kind to the old people. I usually don't mind if they're being cunts; they
deserve to be able to act like cunts without retribution. The worst thing about the job is having to wear a nametag, so now all the weird guys who leer at me
can now leer at me and say, "Hey, Stephanie." in their really thin, whispery voices and skeeve me the hell out.
Anyways, up until a few days ago I didn't really have anything too bad to say about the job, besides it being exactly how you would imagine working in a
grocery store would be. Lots of bitchwork. But on Thursday, I was working the morning shift, and I'd been there since 5 a.m., beginning to sense the
beginnings of an ear ache coming on and not quite in my best mood, when this chick with ugly, puffy hair saunters in with an attitude and slams a receipt down
on the counter.
"I came in yesterday and bought two limes, but they charged me for 23 limes. It cost me 14 dollars! I want all my money back!" At this point, she has
a really ugly look on her face and I'm already put off.
Me: Um, okay, uh, how did you not know they were charging you for 21 extra limes?
A pause, because she's stupid and I have a good point. "You're not being very helpful! I just want my money back, right now!" She's
slapping the counter for emphasis, and being extremely rude. I'm just standing there thinking, 'Wow, this lady's kind of a cunt. Am I actually
expected to stand here and eat her shit?'
Me: Well, it's a legitimate question. Or did you just think the limes were seven dollars each?
"I DID NOT BUY 23 LIMES! IT IS VERY QUESTIONABLE THAT I WOULD BUY 23 LIMES!" She's shrieking in my face, at this point. Not acting like an adult
with any kind of manners at all, really. I'm kind of aghast, and that's I just start laughing in her face.
Me: I actually can't even help you with this. Just go yell at my supervisor, ma'am.
And I send her away. I mean, who screams at people like that? Who thinks that's okay, even if I am there to help her? I'm not her slave, she can't
treat me like I'm her bitch she can scream at. Last time I checked, I'm not holding onto her pocket. I can understand if you get flustered, but
don't carry on like some unholy retard. I hate it when people think they are entitled to get whatever they want just because they're stupid and loud. I
can't hang with that. Of course, my manager gave her everything she wanted because she made a giant fuss and even pulled out the "I WILL NEVER SHOP AT
VONS AGAIN!" card. Which, fine by me. I'd even escort her out.
My manager came over to me and gave me mild amounts of crap because apparently the lady-hyena pegged me for being rude to her. I was like, "Really? Wow,
if she thought I was being rude, I might as well have actually been rude to her. She's the dumbest human alive." And my manager shook her head and was
like, "You just can't say that." You could tell she hated her life. But I thought to myself, "You shan't break my spirit, oldie.
It's not my fault you're content with having shit slung at your face daily." Althought it's sort of admirable, you have to admit.
So that's when I officially started hating my job. Hopefully I'll get fired soon. I mean, I need the money, but I wasn't made for this whole
'standing up, smiling, and working at the same time' thing. Walking, talking, and dealing with monogloids is hard to do. I want a cushy pencil pushing
job. I have an ass that was made for sitting.

















