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The next survivor we will be drooling over is a 41 year old illiterate mountain man from West Virginia who builds the best shelter in survivor history, does such a good job of fishing and trapping animals that his tribe actually gains weight, and has an adorible habit of mispelling his tribemates names so badly at tribal counsel, that Jeff just throws away the his vote. His will have a beard slightly longer than the members of ZZ Top and his accent will be so thick that we will need subtitles to understand what he is saying, even with the subtitles, it will be complete jibberish. Unfortantly, he will get so popular so fast, that around week 6, the people of survivor sucks will go from loving him to hating him and wanting him to die a painful death. Their new favorite castaway will become a skinny 28 year old white guy who has delusions of becomming a famous rapper and demands people call him Crack Pipe Mike. Crack Pipe Mike will make it to the final 2 by tricking his fellow castaways into believing members of a rival gang are holding his mother hostage and unless he wins the million dollar prize, she will be killed. He wins the jury vote 7-0 then at the finale announces his mother is just fine, and she is an attorney at one of Los Angeles most prominate law firms. He goes on to explain that his family has millions of dollars, and truth be told, he didn't really need million dollar prize anyway. He announces he will blow the prize money by renting the playboy mansion for a nite and holding one kickass party.