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* Other Advice Given By Alexis (and Weekly Quotes) *

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NlGHTCRAWLER		#61	[-]
Posts: 15793 (05/17/08 4:09 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: What type of fashion advice can you give me? I don't have a job, because I'm only 11. I want to look great when I start school next year. Everyone picked on me this year for wearing clothes from Wal-Mart. Hey girlfriend!! Okay, listen up!! I'm only going to say this once because usually you have to be in my premium section to get such groundbreaking advice! Okay, first off, you're going to need a good body. If you don't, then it doesn't matter how nice your clothes are because no one will even be looking at you anyway. If you weigh more than I do (which IS only 110 lbs! I don't care what the scales say!) then there's no need to even try. Just go out and end it all. Think of it this way - you're doing the world a favor by killing yourself. I mean, who really wants to look at fat people, right? So do the good deed and just remove yourself because you'll never be popular, successful or anything. Ok, yeah Alison Grodner is a hit reality show producer, and she's GIGANTIC - but that's rare, and chances are, you'll never do it. So - girls with nice bodies, like mine, can get all the latest fashions from any trendy hot spot. Hit the streets of Manhattan, or even Beverly Hills for great fashion!!! Oh, and just an FYI, the HOTTEST fashion craze for this upcoming school year will be my "THAT GIRL" shirts!!! They are available in my new online store for a small fee of $999.99!!!! Here's what they look like! I designed them myself, because I didn't want to ask AMANDA for her help! Stupid bitch.
7neves7		#62	[-]
Posts: 2631 (05/17/08 5:08 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: I am a 12 year old girl and I recently discovered that my chest is growing. I was wondering if this was natural? I am also kind of scared because my chest is becoming so large that I am afraid others will make fun of me for it. Do you have any advice? Aww its so wondeful that your chest is growing1!!11! Don't worry its a natural part of life for a girl! They are called breasts and there is nothing to worry about. Now that you have breasts, life will be so much easier for you. You no longer have to work for anything, just let your breasts do the work for you! If you subscribe to my site, you can learn all about how women of all ages can break down norms and stereotypes of women by using their bodies to get what they want! It's all about equal rights for women!! (Unless of course your a fugly flat chested cunt like Calista Flockhart!! Gigglezz)
7neves7		#63	[-]
Posts: 2632 (05/17/08 5:21 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: I am 14 years old and my boyfriend keeps pressuring me to have sex with him. I told him several times that I wouldn't because I wanted to wait till marriage. He has threatened me several times and said that if I don't have sex with him, he will rape me. What should I do? Its okay to have the feeling of not wanting to have sex, but you will have to give it up sooner or later!! Women naturally don't want sex, and its the mans job to make the girl have sex! It's a scientific fact! Men are supposed to be the aggressors in the relationship, I am sure you will come around eventually. If he does rape you, just don't tell anyone because you are THAT GIRL. THAT GIRL's don't get raped, and if they do they definatly dont' tell anyone!
Seven Inch Gaboner		#64	[-]
Posts: 70 (05/17/08 5:22 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	7neves7 knows the pain of a young girl
NlGHTCRAWLER		#65	[-]
Posts: 15794 (05/17/08 5:50 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	We've all had pain since you started using this lameass ghostie.
ZOMG1one11		#66	[-]
Posts: 66 (05/17/08 6:13 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis: There is a girl in my 7th grade class who is kinda fat and has a snaggletooth and eats her bellybutton lint. She sits next to me in homeroom. What should I do? You will never become a strong independant woman if the populer kids see you around a fugly sea hag like that. You should teese her that she's fat and fugly and will never wind up a star like your hero Alexis Jones. That will make you look cool and feel empowerd and strong. You should also by my "YOU are NOT that girl" shirt for $39.95 plus shiping and handling, so that everyone know they can never be as strong and empowerd as you. (Edited to make speling worse, like on the Alexis Jones blog) Last Edited By: ZOMG1one11 05/17/08 7:29 PM. Edited 1 times.
NlGHTCRAWLER		#67	[-]
Posts: 15797 (05/17/08 6:18 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite
MidnightPrince69		#68	[-]
Posts: 22222 (05/17/08 6:58 PM) MadStudNYC Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis, I live in Beverly Hills, and I like totally need to attend a party this weekend in my new Saab because Jimmy will be there and all the girls want him. I soooooooooo have a take-home test in TRIG which SUCKS cock, and Since I paid YOU three years in advance , I need you to give me the answers, LIKE ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BFF!!!! Outtie, Brenda y(x) − λ cos(xt) y(t) dt = f(x). y(x) − λ sin(xt) y(t) dt = f(x). y(x) − λ sin(x − t)(x − t)⁻¹ y(t) dt = f(x). Ay(x) − B(2π)⁻¹ cot(t/2 − x/2) y(t) dt = f(x). y(x) − λ e^{μ(x − t)} cos(xt) y(t) dt = f(x). y(x) − λ e^{μ(x − t)} sin(xt) y(t) dt = f(x). WTF?????????????!???????????????????????!!!?????
ZOMG1one11		#69	[-]
Posts: 69 (05/17/08 7:21 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis, I live in Beverly Hills, and I like totally need to attend a party this weekend in my new Saab because Jimmy will be there and all the girls want him. I soooooooooo have a take-home test in MATH which SUCKS cock, and Since I paid YOU three years in advance , I need you to give me the answers, LIKE ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BFF!!!! Outtie, Brenda 1. 1+1= ? 2. 7-2= ? 3. 5+0= ? 4. 8x1= ? 5. 6-6 = ? 6. 2x2 = ? 7. 1+4 = ? 8. 3-1 = ? 9. 7+5 = ? 10. 1x0 = ? WTF?????????????!???????????????????????!!!?????
NlGHTCRAWLER		#70	[-]
Posts: 15798 (05/17/08 7:32 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	¡Hey Alexis! ¡Estoy alegre escribirle! Gocé de usted en sobreviviente: ¡Micronesia! ¿Puede usted darme un cierto consejo sobre cómo llegar a ser famoso como se? Amor, Rosita Oooooo, sorry girlfriend! I do not speak Japanese!
NickF227		#71	[-]
Posts: 2709 (05/17/08 7:36 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	^^ LMAO! Dear Alexis: Who won the first season of Survivor? WTF is Survivor?
ZOMG1one11		#72	[-]
Posts: 70 (05/17/08 7:40 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	^ Good one. LOL @ NC, too.
7neves7		#73	[-]
Posts: 2633 (05/17/08 7:45 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis, I recently discovered that my boyfriend has gotten me pregnant. I went to the doctor and he told me that I am 4 months along. Do you have any advice for what I should do with my baby? Thanks, Teenager and Pregnant Its okay that you're pregnant but you shouldn't have to put up with it! Gigglez Men try to oppress us by making us pregnant!! Throw that bloody fetus into the dumpster as soon as it is born! You will never be a strong independent woman like me with a cry baby around all the time! Also make sure you don't gain abunch of weight when your pregnant, because you don't want to become unattractive! Just remember to follow my daily workout routines on my blog!!!!11!!
Paris Hilton		#74	[-]
Posts: 2402 (05/17/08 7:47 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis, what happens if you give a cunt a cookie? I dont find this joke funny at all.
MidnightPrince69		#75	[-]
Posts: 22223 (05/17/08 9:02 PM) MadStudNYC Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Dear Alexis, Where is Micronesia? Thanks!!!! Mandy Um.... Look at a map, you dumb bitch! Just kidding! :) LOL~! South America. P.S. I promise I won't tell anyone what a dumb bitch you are.
MidnightPrince69		#76	[-]
Posts: 22224 (05/17/08 9:07 PM) MadStudNYC Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Alexis, Micronesia is not in South America. FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! Mandy I know that, you dumb slut. It's located in your boyfriend's pants!
platinumtlc		#77	[-]
Posts: 3018 (05/17/08 9:22 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Ok now it's getting stupid.
MidnightPrince69		#78	[-]
Posts: 22225 (05/17/08 9:31 PM) MadStudNYC Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	That's the point.
ZOMG1one11		#79	[-]
Posts: 75 (05/17/08 10:00 PM) Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	platinumtlc wrote: Ok now it's getting stupid. Just now?
NlGHTCRAWLER		#80	[-]
Posts: 15799 (05/17/08 10:23 PM) >: \| Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	<3 Cassius

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