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Cue to begin sappy Survivor music:

JFP: "I realized that I'm more pussywhipped than I ever believed possible. My baby wasn't due for another 3 months, but I needed to go home now because you know, it might take my flight almost 3 months to get back to the U.S."

Mary: "I...."

Yauman: "It ras rearry difficurt to find de hidden idor on the irand this time."

Mikey B.: *colorful*

Joel: "I don't care."

Jonathan: "I am the way, the truth, the light."

Chet: *NOTHING*

Kathleen: "Bizzerk doink doink me go crazy but I's a woman and don't wanna become a man AAAAAAHHHH."

Tracy: (looking down) "Yes, these ARE real."

Ami: *crying*

Eliza: "This is really like unbelievably like quasi-amazing ZOMG!!!"

Ozzy: "Fuck you all."

Jason: "Tee hee tee hee I beat Ozzy."

James: "I wish dem bootiful ladies wudn't hadn't da eaten dat damn apple."

Alexis: "I'd love to meet people like Martin Luther King Jr., Bobby Kennedy, Terry Deitz, Mother Teresa, Margaret Thatcher, Ghandi, and Pol Pot."

Erik: "This experience was amazing. What's a boob?"