Did Maksim win yet?
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ZombieNaj ranks the DWTS pros
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 Alffmix |
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Posts: 5867 (05/31/08 3:09 AM) Registered User |
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 ZombieLinda |
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Posts: 4084 (06/04/08 3:38 PM) |
no not yet, but for now...Hough massacre! =O
#6) Julianne Hough 
Season 4: Apolo Anton Ono (1st Place) Season 5: Helio Castroneves (1st Place) Season 6: Adam Carolla (9th Place) omh Julianne is tres gorgeous and I want her to have many of my babies. She is an angel sent from heaven to entertain us all with her immense beauty and skills. She's a triple threat and her adorable child-like personality and squeaky voice turn me the fuck on. Oops, but she's a chaste pure virginal Mormon and knows that sex is only for procreation. <333 
~louie77 That pretty much sums up why I HATE her. Now for the positives. <3 Out of all the pros, Julianne was the last girl to join the show, but she's now the most popular for sure. She's everything America loves. A dancing and singing blonde, sweet, unobjectionable teenage Mormon. Her own popularity has benefited all of her partners, and she won her first two seasons and had to be paired with a deranged lunatic on a unicycle to prevent the hat trick. Her debut was with speed skating champion Apolo Anton Ono, and even though he was kinda boring, she brought out his fun side. They weren't my initial favorites, but their first Pulp Fiction-themed dance made me like them and made them my official backup plan in case Shandi sucked (she did). For a closeted gay man and a Mormon virgin, they had loads of chemistry together, and pretty much all of their performances were spectacular. I already posted their rumba, which was very precious. Their samba was their first dance that got them attention as frontrunners, with a perfect score. Their Paso Doble was when I realized they were going to topple the evil Joey Fatone: But my favorite dance of theirs was their FREAKY chacha. So raunchy for primetime. For a virginal 18 year old Mormon, Julianne sure knew how to.......push it. They defied all odds (kinda) and won, and Julianne temporarily became my NUMBER ONE favorite. =O 
The next season things took a turn for the worse. Her partner was Helio Castroneves, and while they were fun at first, their blatant pimpage despite his lack of talent got annoying. Julianne also M.ORPHED into an overtanned diva nightmare. She seems to age 7 years with every season. Soon she'll be looking like Kym Johnson. D= 
Helio/Julianne wasn't nearly as likable as Apolo/Julianne and the fact that Julianne fantards said they were even better contributed to my irrational hatred for her. Helio was also clearly infatuated with her, and called off his wedding to his longtime fiance/gofo because of the little Mormon trollop. JULIANNE MORE LIKE WHORLIANNE!!!!!!! This dance pretty much sums up their time on the show. Over the top, obnoxious, and technically horrifying, but since it was entertaining and Julianne twirled around her partner a lot, the judges will pretend it was amazing anyway! *winks* Here are some of their confessionals so you can see their FUNNNNNNNNNNNN personalities too: So cweepy. And they still won. Their victory was very polarizing since they defeated someone who was probably the best female dancer to ever be on the show at that point.
Spoiler
 Moving on to Julianne's third and probably final partner, Adam Carolla. She finally had a talentless partner, but it still seemed like she'd go far for a while. She didn't, but Adam's short stay was filled with laffos. He'd flat out tell her she wasn't going to win again, and complain when the wardrobe people put too much clothing on her since it was hurting their cause. Their final dance was by far their funniest. Unicycles, Zorro outfits, and subtle fellatio jokes. <3 The whole video is a must-watch: So all in all, Julianne has added a lot of excitement to the show, both good and bad. She's a LEGEND, but she's just not as colorful as some of the others so that's why she's in 6th place. I'm pretty sure she won't be back next season since she's focusing on her country music career now. Dancing was just a stepping stone. 
She's a horrible mediawhore, phony slut, and boring hag, but you just can't help but love her! 
Last Edited By: ZombieLinda
06/04/08 3:53 PM.
Edited 2 times.
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SurvivorFanGP |
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Posts: 8280 (06/04/08 4:00 PM) Registered user |
Sorry, but i'll forever hate Julianne for the sole reason that she and Helio RAWBED the fabulous and fierce duo of Mel and Maks.
Cheryl > Julianne. I hope Cheryl wins again just to give a big "fuck you" to Julianne and surpass her. <3 |
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unknown08 |
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Posts: 75 (06/05/08 12:16 PM) Registered User |
YAY @ Ashley (that was her name right?) still being on this list!
So patient with all her retarded partners. <3 I haven't watched this show in a while. Is she back? I remember the redhead (Anna?) from her first season and she was a fierce bitch. <3 |
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louie77 |
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Posts: 14966 (06/05/08 1:02 PM) Registered user |
omh i'm tres bummed that Julianne is so low on the list. But she is still a goddess and the most beautiful woman to ever walk the planet. Not only that
but she is amazing dancer and singer who will be famous for years to come. Her beauty and innocence are incredible, and it's great to see that there is
still someone who is so strong in their morals in this time period.
<3 that second picture of her by the way |
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ZombieLinda |
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Posts: 4088 (06/05/08 1:14 PM) |
Considering you thought I despised her before the list began, 6th place is pretty good!
She won me over again when she showed she could have a sense of humor with a shitty contestant and take it all in stride, after winning twice in a row. |
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Us Kids Know |
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Posts: 6338 (06/05/08 8:56 PM) Registered user
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omfg are you like EVER going to finish this list????
I need new entryz now like ugh! |
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ZombieLinda |
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Posts: 4129 (06/15/08 1:27 AM) |
okay!
#5) Maksim Chmerkovskiy 
Season 2: Tia Carrere (6th Place) Season 3: Willa Ford (7th Place) Season 4: Laila Ali (3rd Place) Season 5: Mel B aka Scary Spice (2nd Place) Now I get to piss off the other annoying rabid fanbase! Maks is kinda like the male Julianne, so it's fitting that they're next to each other in the list. They're similar in that they're both two of the only hugely popular dance instructors on the show, and it has more to do with looks/charisma than talent. Cuz Maks' dances kinda suck and his boring choreography has contributed to lackluster performances from people he could have easily won with. Anyhoo, Maks is the BAD BOY OF BALLROOM DANCING, if there is such a thing. He's just too cool for school, and it's hard to tell if he's cocky and arrogant, or just confident and self assured. But you know what? He doesn't give a shit which opinion you take. He's just that cool. He started out with Tia Carrere and Willa Ford. He only made it about halfway with both of them, but he was still pretty awesome. He was an asshole to both, and would get fed up with their substandard ability in nearly every rehearsal and leave the set. He just had better things to do. He still managed to bang Willa though, and surely left her in the dust after the season was over. Oh, and he also had a mullet back then. 
lawl The next season, he got a haircut and a decent partner, and his fanbase exploded. OMGSOHAWT 
:orgasm: I was kind of sad, since I felt like I was the only one who appreciated him and now everyone had jumped on the bandwagon. He and Laila Ali were quite good, but ended up in 3rd since there was no stopping the Apolo/Joey Fatone finale. Here's a clip in which the shemale turns the tables and trains Maks, in the gym. There are plenty of OMGSOHAWT shots of Maks in there for everyone to appreciate. <3 That brings us to the pinnacle of his DWTS career - a Spice Girl. I actually didn't like them at all, and while I feel they were robbed, I just didn't care. And all their annoying fans who acted like they were better than they really were didn't help matters. It's hard to pinpoint what I didn't like about them, but I just felt they were a little too forced and dull, and as far as dancing goes, a lot of their dances were really similar. OMG ANOTHER S&M THEMED DANCE? SO HOT! 
They were good though. These are my three favorite dances of theirs, all conveniently in one video. They were actually their 3 S&Mesque dances, but oh well. The second one was probably my favorite dance of the season that wasn't performed by Marie Osmond. Tangoing to Depeche Mode <333 And here are some of their funnier moments together so you can get a feel of their personalities: Maybe they weren't so bad after all, but I just wasn't feeling it at the time It didn't help that Maks shamelessly pandered to the horny
hausfrau by taking his shirt off after almost every dance. It can pass as funny maybe once, but after that it's just tres obnoxious.
 
I didn't start to dislike him until after the season ended though. He WHIIIIINED in every interview and declared that a female would NEVER win if HIS partner Melanie Brown couldn't win. He then publicly declared he was leaving the show forever. Then he publicly apologized and begged them to reconsider. Then he quit again. Then he said he was just taking one season off so he could focus on the children at his dance school. Whatever. It made him seem like a crybaby pissant, and ruined the whole "I'm so cool and don't care" facade he had going for him. He's also become all caught up in the Hollywood scene and ditched his Azerbaijanian roots, or wherever the fuck he's from. Just look at how trendy he is compared to the days of the Eastern European mullet. 
ick Without those changes and the annoying fantards, he could have easily been #1, but I've started to resent him a little. He's still definitely one of the funniest people on the show and has more personality than all of the other men combined, so I do hope he returns next season. rejuvenated from his break. Maybe my love for him will be reborn. <3  
 
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louie77 |
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Posts: 15066 (06/15/08 1:34 AM) Registered user |
Much like a whole lot of reality stars, I began to dislike Maks because of his rabid fans. Aside from that he's pretty awesome.
Also I loved the fact that he was the only one to ever call out Marie Osmond on all her sob stories. She was Maksowned |
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ZombieLinda |
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Posts: 4130 (06/15/08 1:39 AM) |
omg i forgot about that. that made me hate him too
SAINT MARIE WOULD NEVER MANIPULATE THE PUBLIC!!! 
And yes, annoying fanbases can contribute to hatred of the person they're obsessing over, which I guess is unfair. The final 4 of this list don't really have any fans. <3 Will AMBERFREAK's prediction for the final 2 come true?!?! 
<3 |
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AMBERFREAK |
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Posts: 1759 (06/15/08 7:27 AM) Registered user |
I like Maksim, but I agree, his fanbase has turned me off of him a little. How many times can you hear "OMG, Maksim is just soooo hot" or "I
don't know. The only dancer I watch is Maksim"?
Plus, I don't even think he is that hot. He's kind of a butterface : /
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ZombieLinda |
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Posts: 4310 (07/06/08 11:14 AM) |
k, I feel like starting this list up again.
Season 3:�Jerry Springer (5th Place)�
Anyway, as you can see Kym was a major star down under, and even won the Australian version of DWTS. She thus decided to come here and tackle the American version. She hasn't won yet, but has made a name for herself with a couple epic journeys on the show. What I like most about her is that she's not an attention whore and actually choreographs dances that showcase what her partner is actually capable of, rather than trying to hide their inadequacies by twirling around the floor and hogging the limelight like Julianne and company. She's had some very creative routines, and I consider her to be the best technical choreographer by far. Her personality isn't as OTT as my other favorites, but it is a show about dancing so she still deserves mucho credit. Her first partner was none other than Jerry Springer. Jerry was a completely awful dancer, but still very eager to learn. He took it seriously, while still maintaining constant laffos. This made him a fan favorite and got him all the way to 5th place in spite of his royal suckage. Kym and Jerry always seemed to have a nice friendly relationship, and had several laffotastic performances in what I considered to be an otherwise dull season. All in all it was a good debut for Kym. Here are some clips of two of their funniest dances, and a clip of Kym getting Jerry a nice and orangey tan for live television! For her successes, Kym was awarded with a true contender in the next season - JOEY FATONE! Joey was kind of a self indulgent, cocky asshole who was always doing all this shit to pander for more votes. I hated him with a passion, and unfortunately this intense hatred rubbed off on Kym. I even began referring to her as things like "that evil Aussie" and "whore." In retrospect, she wasn't that bad, and most of her dances with Joey were really fun and creative so they deserved their spot in the finals. Apolo vs Joey was truly an epic showdown of good and evil, and luckily good prevailed or I may have turned on Kym 4eva. Here's their most memorable dance of the season, a tango with a STAR WARS theme. I don't even like Star Wars that much, but that dance defo brought out the geekboy in me. They then performed a better version of it in the finale, since Joey is SO PASSIONATE about Star Wars and they wanted to prove they could get better scores with that gimmicky mess. <3 For her successes, in the next season Kym was awarded with......Mark Cuban. Next she had another awful partner, Penn, of Penn and Teller. He was just as awkward and obnoxious as you'd expect. Kym was still positive and took it all in stride though, saying things like "Penn is going to DAZZLE the audience with his stage presence and performance experience." Yeah, no. They were booted first, but had a few laffos in their short stay, such as Penn sawing Kym in half and creating a voodoo doll of one of the judges and working it into their performances. Here's their entire stint on the show since it was so short <3
Spoiler
 yay kym 
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louie77 |
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Posts: 15440 (07/06/08 11:21 AM) Registered user |
Really the only time I ever disliked Kym was when she was with Joey. Aside from that she's a-ok. Her partnership with Jerry was always <3
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maldoror122 |
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Posts: 326 (07/06/08 12:48 PM) |
Mark and Anna in top 3 <3
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ModernDayClyde |
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Posts: 576 (07/06/08 12:50 PM) |
No, I think Mark, Anna, and Ashly. Louie is just ewwww.
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Ozzmanda Fan234 |
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Posts: 369 (07/07/08 2:23 PM) |
My prediction:
3rd = Ashley 2nd = Anya 1st = Mark<3 <3 <3 |
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Joaqenix |
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Posts: 1600 (07/07/08 3:06 PM) |
She looks weird and haggard and then hot some other times like the FHM shoot.
But I could probably look like a hot chick too if they airbrushed like they did on those! |
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ZombieLinda |
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Posts: 4911 (08/25/08 11:29 AM) |
I just remembered I never finished this list, but I will now thanks to the announcement of the NEW CAST! Anna and Ashly (two of the top three) aren't a
part of it though.
And Kym got another dud.
And Whorlianne is guaranteed to go far with her Hannah Montana heartthrob
And that bitch Cheryl got another boring athlete that will moisten the size 37 panties of the trailerfraus and go far too
That boring overrated hag Edyta has the worst partner ever though, so there's that. 
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ribald2008 |
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Posts: 1101 (08/25/08 12:27 PM) |
ZombieLinda wrote:Hawt! |
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louie77 |
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Posts: 16375 (08/25/08 12:38 PM) Registered user |
I have a new number 1 DWTS pro <333333. And her getting Lance so she automatically is gonna be around for a while <3333
When you look up fierce in the dictionary, Lacey's picture is right there. That video tells you all you need to know about her <3 I still love my pure chaste angel Julianne though...it's just a nice balance to have. |
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