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And your favorite homewrecking harlot is still in the running! She sang the national anthem at the Indy 500 and totally bombed btw.



Helio probably lost because he was thinking about how he should have never left his fiancee for a flash in the pan whore

#7) Derek Hough

Season 5: Jennie Garth (4th Place)
Season 6: Shannon Elizabeth (6th Place)

Derek made his debut in season 4 when his incompetent and bratty little sister called for his help with teaching Apolo Anton Ono how to rumba. The rumba is the most sensuous and PASSIONATE dance, so who better to teach homosexual Apolo how to get passionate with Julianne than her own brother?



Regardless of the cweepiness, it worked and MAGIC happened. I believe that is actually esteemed poster louie77's favorite dance in the history of the show. I can accept that since all the other rumbas have sucked ass. Seeing Marie Osmond get her freak on just isn't sexy.

Anyhoo, because of this Derek got to come back next season as his own man. He was with America's Sweetheart Jennie Garth and the two of them had a good run all the way to fourth place. They got a raw deal from the judges and should have been in the top 3, but I didn't care since it was Marie Osmond who robbed them of it. <3 This was my favorite dance of theirs, and it also shows a clip of their devastating collapse live on stage, another legendary moment.



Derek was basically Julianne's slightly more humorous and talented older brother in his first season. An all around nice chum. Then in the next season, he turned into a NIGHTMARE! He was paired with Goddess Shannon Elizabeth, who turned out to be the most competitive cunt to ever be on this show. And I loved every minute of it! She wanted to win SO.DESPERATELY and it almost became scary. What was scarier was that as a 34 year old divorcee, Shannon pounced all over the 22-year-old-but-looks-like-he's-14 Derek. It was still pure and true love 4eva though <3

Romantic strolls on the beach <3



Shannon sending Derek off to the hospital with a kiss after a sexcapade mishap <3



And always fun and passionate dances <3



I liked pretty much all of their performances so look them up if you're interested, but their shining moment was defo their Viennese Waltz. It was just so magical and Disneyesque and brings out the 6 year old girl in me. *sigh*



But things soon took a turn for the worst. Shannon started melting down nearly every week because of her desperation for perfection, and her insanity started to rub off on Derek. Their mutual breakdown reached its climax in this glorious rant to the judges in one of their confessionals:



"WHAT ABOUT THE HORRIFIC DEMENTED LINES OUT THERE HUH?!!?! WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT?!?!"

ownt

Of course they were voted out the next week since colorfulness that amazing is rarely rewarded by the power voting trailer fraus.

Another thing I noticed during Shannon's reign of terror was that Derek began displaying very peculiar behavior during the live shows, twitching all over the place and saying random and nonsensical phrases out of nowhere. I'm afraid the once sweet and naive Mormon chile may be dabbling in la cocaína. Upon further investigation, he is clearly hanging out with riff raff.







Those clearly aren't the type of people a classically trained Mormon ballroom dancer should be with. I started out hating him for it, now I just hope he continues his downward spiral into insanity in future seasons. 'Cause that'd be awesome.

And we can all thank one woman.



<3