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#13) Jonathan Roberts



Season One: Rachel Hunter (4th Place)
Season Two: Giselle Fernandez (8th Place)
Season Four: Heather Mills (7th Place)
Season Five: Marie Osmond (3rd Place)
Season Six: Monica Seles (Last Place)

Jonathan is verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry boring and kind of an asshole. I haven't started liking him until recently, but I'll explain why. For one, he is very very gay (but in a boring way), but I also recently found out he's married to the fabulous Anna Trebunskaya. Clearly she just wanted her green card.



Secondly, he was Marie Osmond's partner. He tends to get stuck with the older incompetent women, but Marie turned out to be a F I E R C E competitor. Hyperventilating and fainting on live television, squealing over the judges whenever they started critiquing her, and having random family members killed each week for sympathy, not to mention her always bizarre performances that bordered on the verge of insanity - Marie was truly the most entertaining contestant ever. She started out as the lovable and colorful mom, and morphed into a shrill, obnoxious hag. <3 Jonathan being a part of that experience definitely boosts his ranking.


<3
<3
<3

Best. Dance. Ever.



Anyway, Marie and gayness can only carry him so far. I've hated all of his other partners, especially that peg-legged cunt Heather Mills. I loved him this season though even though he was booted in the 1st week. When Anna was sick, he stood in for her and practiced with Steve Guttenberg just to help her out. True love <3 He then performed with him in the encore results show performance and was actually funny playing up the gayness and absurdity and whatnot, which showed he actually has a sense of humor. Or maybe he wasn't joking...=O

#12) Charlotte Jorgensen



Season One: John O'Hurley (2nd Place - 1st in the rematch)

Charlotte is just so classy! She also has a very festive name (pronounced Charlotta Yorgensen), but her being assigned to John was without a doubt the best match in DWTS history. They worked so well together and developed a great friendship throughout the show. She was also the oldest female pro (omg 33 how ancient!) so they even looked better together than most of the others. A lot of people thought John was arrogant, but I just thought he was funny and that it was all a part of his persona. Charlotte also "got" him, and it was a match made in heaven.

Here's an example of their many great dances. I prefer their over the top dramatical ones with John's hilarious facial expressions, but this one showcases their classy and elegant side.



She's never been on the show since then, and I'm pretty sure she retired from dancing in general, so she's not good enough for the top 10 though. She does, however, have the best average placement of all the pros since she retired after finishing in 2nd, and would have been 1st if she wasn't ROBBED by that talentless hussy Kelly Monaco (which was hilarious).

HumongousDarling wrote:

---

I watched that whole thing and he looks coolio but god damn is Marlee hot! I couldn't believe how well she danced! What was her demise?

Her first dance was her best. She started sucking and becoming more and more exposed and it just got embarrassing and uncomfortable to watch.

#10) Tony Dovolani


Season Two: Stacy Kiebler (3rd Place)
Season Three: Sara Evans (6th Place)
Season Four: Leeza Gibbons (9th Place)
Season Five: Jane Seymour (6th Place)
Season Six: Marissa Jaret Winokur (4th Place)

I don't really know how Tony made the top 10 now that I'm trying to think of why I like him. He's pretty boring, I've only liked one of his partners, and his choreography is bland, but I'm still drawn to him for some reason.� He seems normal, has an outrageous temper, and is a dedicated family man. <3 He's also tall which makes him stand out from the other male pros who are mostly all dwarfish.

SO HAWT TOO



RAWR

TONY FUN FACTS:

Tony has a longrunning bitter rivalry with the evil judge, Carrie In An Arbor. It's very clear they hate each other and they've had several fights on live television. One of my favorite backstage rumors from the show was a confrontation between the two of them, in which Tony charged at her with the official rulebook after Carrie Ann accused him and Jane Seymour of performing "illegal lifts" (*gasp*) and she stormed off with her middle finger in the air. I think he threw the rulebook at her head or something too. <3


Tony is the only non-winner to not be voted off in a season, since Sara Evans quit in the final 6. Best dancer to never win? I actually think she could have made the top 3 easily. You know how those country fans are.


Tony was partners with two of my most hated people ever on this show, Leeza Gibbons and Jane Seymour. Leeza rawbed the beautiful Shandi Finnessey, and not only that, GLOATED in her damn face after the results were revealed. "I TOLD YOU IT WOULD BE YOU *CACKLES*!" Die ho. And Jane was a horrific cuntress who whined to the press every week about how mistreated she was on the show. Tony has actually always been an asshole in interviews too, but it's funnier when the professionals do it since they actually know what they're talking about.




Tony making the final 4 with that screeching hog Marissa was totally random and unexpected. I actually expected her to be good and get far before it started, but then she sucked so it was hilarious that she kept sticking around. So obnoxious and pathetic <3





And finally, Tony defo should have one of dem mirror ball trophies since Stacy totally should have won.


HOTNESS! Tony is partially to blame for her loss since their freestyle in the finals was extremely dull, but oh well! <3