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I'm too lazy to try to put the pictures on there anyways, but since I got RUCKING FOBBED out of being in the tournament (and demand a #1 seed in the CIT), I will add my expert analysis on the matchups:

North Regional (Round of 64): I have dubbed this regional the "Diaper Dandy" bracket for the fact that, while the power teams make it deep, some of the biggest upsets of the tournament happen here (and that's what makes this the greatest event on Earth, baby!)

(1) Paris Hilton vs. (16) OnlyMatthew - OM had an excellent year this past season. Setting a school record for wins and garnering FERDC awards for its coach, it simply can't match up with the Hotness of Hilton. Paris takes this by 20, at least.

(8) SoleSurvivor1 vs. (9) sprnintendo - Two quiet schools who didn't make any noise this season despite posting impressive records. I think SS1 is a little more solid on defense, so they take the edge in a close game.

(5) FREE X BILKIS vs. (12) Bobby Jon Goes Apeshit - In what is sure to go down as one of the biggest upsets of the first round (but not even the biggest one of this bracket!), I'm picking Rabbi Apeshit, recently converted to the light of Jonathan, to power through with his famous resiliency in the face of adversity and shock the Bilkis Dynasty on the decline.

(4) TW4Life vs. (13) peppermntgum - A battle between two schools who are both overseeded. TW has more losses than any other #4 OR #5 seed, and Peppermnt squeezed in there on the automatic mid-major bid out of the SBC. Their spot probably should've gone to Dr. Will Hatch 2.0. Regardless, TW does play a great rotating zone defense, and they have the X-factor of the tournament playing point. They should cruise through.

(6) FinishThemOff vs. (11) hossc - Folks, this rivalry is what CTS is all about. FTO, the illiterate poster, versus hossc, the bumbling retarded poster, have been at odds with each other for so long that no one, not even the two teams, know what started their feud. These are two teams that just plain don't like each other. However, since FTO has an excuse for his mannerisms, and hossc is just stupid, FTO should take the match this year.

(3) Alffmix vs. (14) Maggie Chops - Another mid-major automatic bid to the relatively unknown and unaccomplished Maggie Chops. Alffmix is thanking the Selection Co-Gene-ee for giving them a bye in round 1.

(7) A Dying Clown vs. (10) Edinboro - Edinboro has a great young team and will make the game interesting to watch, but in the end, their inexperience will cost them versus a solid ADC.

(2) Apprentice Talker vs. (15) salchicho - In what is sure to be THE talked about upset of the first round, the forgotten team from salchicho will STUN the heavily-favored AT. salchicho runs a very uptempo trick play-based offense, and with AT's porous defense, Sal will be running all over them and never looking back. Salchicho takes this one. Count on it.

West Regional (Round of 64): This bracket is the hardest of the four to predict, so I call it the "ACH" (Anything Can Happen) bracket.

(1) louie77 vs. (16) DAnn Coulter - Even though they suffered a late-season loss, louie77 still had a strong enough RPI to garner them a #1 seed. DAC will just be happy to have made the Big Dance.

(8) notremojo vs. (9) beatles20147 - Bracketologists around the country are stunned at how Beatles slipped down to a 9 seed. Even with the early loss at GIAA, this team stormed through the conference tournament, winning every game by more than 10 points. This game will not be as close as the seeding indicates.

(5) AidanAcello vs. (12) Jessfrogger88 - AA's coach has to like this matchup. Their style of play is very favorable against the Froggers. AA should win this one big.

(4) Cuauhtemoc Gilmore vs. (13) Juggler8o8 - CG has disappeared from the national scene since leaving the Sucks Conference after a questionable game with SJ™. However, recruiting has played a large factor in their return to prominence. Juggler doesn't stand a chance in it's 4th trip to the Tournament.

(6) Mister Plum vs. (11) Poverteeflatz - Despite its inexperience, I feel like Povertee has a style of play which minimizes the impact of it's all-freshman starting lineup. Plum lost too many early key games, and was lucky to get hit with a 6 seed instead of an 8 or below. I expect the Flatz to pull away in the end.

(3) GnarlsInCharge vs. (14) seltzer3 - I picked GIC to win, but the Alkas have played the #2 defense in the country all year long. If they can control the pace and force Gnarls to play their tempo, this could be a big upset in the making.

(7) Khnum vs. (10) Quiddity - Despite their decline from their run in 2003, Quiddity is still a good club, and Khnum just doesn't have the depth to withstand the onslaught of the Quiddity attack.

(2) STFU Rudy vs. (15) AMBERFREAK - The Freaks will be a team on the rise in the next few NTs, but they were unfortunate to get paired up against STFU Rudy, who has had a stellar year and is my sleeper pick to take it all.

South Regional (Round of 64): I call this the "Domination" Bracket due to the fact that, for the most part, the higher seeds should prevail.

(1) Osten Carty vs. (16) oh ehm gee - OMG, indeed. OC has been ranked #1 all year long, and they have the easiest 1st round matchup of all the #1 seeds.

(8) Alexfangirl vs. (9) Mikiboi - Miki runs an unorthodox style, but the FanGirls' persistence and unwillingness to give an inch will prevail.

(5) Dictatorship vs. (12) kmill - After being disgraced due to recruiting violations (too many ghosties), Dictatorship is pissed off and looking to prove themselves as legitimate during this tournament. They are 100% the most dangerous team in the tournament, without a doubt.

(4) Pulau Tiga vs. (13) joaquenix - PT got lazy towards the end of the season and basically disappeared. Hopefully their disappointing ending will propel them into the next round.

(6) BuffytheThreadSlayer vs. (11) suckshardcore - This will be one of the most entertaining matches of this regional. suckshardcore has long been an established program, but the stars on BTTS create havoc for any team they face. In the end, I go with star power over history.

(3) roadblocker vs. (14) Kenneth - Honestly, I've never heard of Kenneth before. roadblocker by default.

(7) SurvivorFanGP vs. (10) SuperJude™ - After a crushing loss to their star center down the stretch, and then falling to GP in the conference tournament, I just don't think SJ™ has what it takes to advance.

(2) jasonsiskalulz vs. (15) Martrae - The Martraes have been a storied franchise in CTS, but the Lulzies are just too dynamic and explosive to be denied. The Lulzies by a mile.

East Regional (Round of 64): This bracket is, quite fittingly, "The Bracket of Miracles." More upsets happen in this bracket than in the other 3 combined.

(1) UsKidsKnow vs. (16) dominiquechic - One of the very few upset-proof matches. UKK is such a dominant force that it's going to be hard to stop him in his march to glory.

(8) kenc333 vs. (9) StarringAmy - Upset #1, if you consider a 9 over an 8 an upset. Amy is just too hot and wants my body, so she wins ;)

(5) KittyPryde1 vs. (12) Wyldawg - You could say this is an upset, but Brother Wyl was really robbed by the seeding. If anything, the seeding for this match should be switched. Wyl wins easily through the faith in the Lord Jonathan Christ.

(4) LongCat200 vs. (13) DieApoklayptischenReiter - If I can't pronounce the name, it must be a winner.

(6) SUPAMNEO vs. (11) Riliss - While Sup dominated the early time they had on the scene, it is Brother Riliss who has been consistent for the duration of the season. Upset # 4 of the bracket.

(3) Madhackrviper vs. (14) kimjoy85 - The Mad Hackers have faded since their early season surge, but kimjoy limped into the playoffs on the bubble, so expect to see the high seed advance.

(7) PagongSchlong vs. (10) Bassoon291 - Most 7/10 matchups are pretty close, but this one won't be. Apostle Schlong has stifled the competition with his unwavering love and peace towards all mankind.

(2) ZombieLinda vs. (15) snalpoacks - Despite having sand in her vagina on a daily basis (assuming her vagina is more than a hollow shell), Linda is the only one I know in this matchup, so the choice was easy.

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North Regional (Round of 32): Two upsets and two hard-fought wins. Appropriate for the Diaper Dandy Regional.

(1) Paris Hilton vs. (8) SoleSurvivor1 - Despite a smothering man-to-man defense, Paris beats SS1 harder than Rick Solomon.

(12) Bobby Jon Goes Apeshit vs. (4) TW4Life - The Diaper Dandies continue to surge, as Rabbi Apeshit uses his out-of-control methodology to confuse the TW-4 and pull off the upset.

(6) FinishThemOff vs. (3) Alffmix - In a triple overtime match between two people who don't make much sense to anyone but themselves, I have to go with the higher seed who is getting laid on a consistent basis.

(7) A Dying Clown vs. (15) salchicho - The biggest Cinderella story of the CTS TOC continues their improbable run, as Salchicho uses the now infamous Hot Dog Stomp defense (a variation of the Box-And-One) to shut down the high flying Clowns.

West Regional (Round of 32): The ACH Bracket could prove it's name in this regional. None of these games should be decided in regulation.

(1) louie77 vs. (9) beatles20147 - As you can see, I've predicted the 77ers to be the first #1 team to fall. Beatles' incredible knowledge of the game will prove too much for the glitz and glamor of the 77ers.

(5) AidanAcello vs. (4) Cuauhtemoc Gilmore - In a game that I predict will be decided in Sudden Death, CG calls upon his warrior spirit to maintain focus under pressure, spelling D-O-O-M for AA.

(11) Poverteeflatz vs. (3) GnarlsInCharge - The Flatz will keep the game close, but Gnarls is firmly in Charge.

(10) Quiddity vs. (2) STFU Rudy - Quiddity's program was once a storied and respected program, but they are only a shadow of what they were. Rudy will wipe the floor with them.

South Regional (Round of 32): The best team will win all 4 games in the Domination Regional, as predicted.

(1) Osten Carty vs. (8) Alexfangirl - Fangirls only last for so long until the spotlight proves too bright. Osten proves why he's the real deal in this match up.

(5) Dictatorship vs. (4) Pulau Tiga - TA continues his revenge against the CTSAA by demolishing the ghosts of Pulau Tiga.

(6) BuffytheThreadSlayer vs. (3) roadblocker - Despite having the probably top two picks in the upcoming SBA Draft, BTTS will prove no match for the more experienced roadblocker.

(7) SurvivorFanGP vs. (2) jasonsiskalulz - SFGP will be too decimated after his hard-fought win over SJ™, and The Lulz will take advantage of that with their uptempo, funloving game plan.

East Regional (Round of 32): Once again, the Bracket of Miracles will provide the most upsets of the round, with only one higher seed advancing.

(1) UsKidsKnow vs. (9) StarringAmy - UKK will draw upon the hybrid strength of Jonathan Christ and Ciriegoddess to propel him into his 47th straight Sweet Sixteen.

(12) Wyldawg vs. (13) DieApoklayptischenReiter - Despite having a name that looks like what FTO would write if he was trying to say, "chicken," Apostle Dawg will overpower the huge German and set up a Sweet Sixteen matchup with UKK that is bound to provide sparks.

(11) Riliss vs. (3) Madhackrviper - Apostle Riliss, like all of the winners in this round, will be blessed with the Holy Spirit Brian Heidik, and will be destined for the next round.

(7) PagongSchlong vs. (2) ZombieLinda - Despite doing everything she can to spew her nasty period blood on everyone and give them Super AIDS, Linda will fall short when Pope Schlong the Lover forgives her for her sins and converts her to the Light of the One True God, Hatch.

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North Regional (Sweet Sixteen): One DD falls short of the prize, while another continues their improbably rise.

(1) Paris Hilton vs. (12) Bobby Jon Goes Apeshit - After conquering many a hard penii with attitude like The Apeshit, Hilton's experience will overcome the unpredictability of BJGA and advance to the Elite Eight once again.

(3) Alffmix vs. (15) salchicho - Do you believe? Despite being clearly outmatched in talent, the Heart of the Dog proves too much for Alffmix, and the improbably 15th seed marches on in their quest for greatness and immortality.

West Regional (Sweet Sixteen): Don't expect any surprises in these matchups.

(9) beatles20147 vs. (4) Cuauhtemoc Gilmore - CG continues his return to prominence, stifling beatles in dominating fashion.

(3) GnarlsInCharge vs. (2) STFU Rudy - Rudy tells Gnarls to STFU and shows him who's in charge. Yeah, I went there.

South Regional (Sweet Sixteen): Neither of these games will prove to be close, but the victors may surprise you.

(1) Osten Carty vs. (5) Dictatorship - Forget about Apeshit. Forget about Hot Dog. This upset here proves to be the most shocking win since GIAA had vaginal intercourse with LaurenTheLush, blondemss, SurvivorArctic, LuvTheOzman, and ArrogantDreamer all in the same night. And just like that, only two #1 seeds will remain.

(3) roadblocker vs. (2) jasonsiskalulz - Despite their being 15 potential opponents left, it appears that Jason gets the easiest of the 15, and cruises into his first Elite Eight.

East Regional (Sweet Sixteen): The Miracles keep coming, proving once again that the CTS TOC is the greatest show on Sucks!

(1) UsKidsKnow vs. (12) Wyldawg - UKK outsmarts himself with his hybrid strategy, as the Ciriegoddess principles of his gameplan fail him due to Wyl's perfectly executed strategy that were passed down upon him by Jonathan Christ himself. It truly was a sign from Jon.

(11) Riliss vs. (7) PagongSchlong - In perhaps the most gutwrenching battle in all of mankind, two Apostles of The Faith were forced to go to battle in the name of the Lord Jonathan Christ. Due to a life-threatening leg injury, Riliss was forced to forfeit the match, and Apostle Schlong advanced in a truly tear-enducing turn of events.

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North Regional (Elite Eight):
(1) Paris Hilton vs. (15) salchicho - Even the greatest stories eventually meet their end. Salchicho, the Heart and Soul of the meat-packing industry meets his end at the hands of the all-powerful Hilton.

West Regional (Elite Eight):
(4) Cuauhtemoc Gilmore vs. (2) STFU Rudy - In one of the most heavily-contested battles ever, Rudy and Gilmore endure a record-breaking 12 Sudden Death rounds before Rudy ultimately wins when Gilmore shoots a blank.

South Regional (Elite Eight):
(5) Dictatorship vs. (2) jasonsiskalulz - The Lulz turn to Tearz when TA destroys him by fooling him with a piece of wood, then crossing his fingers and promising not to vote him out.

East Regional (Elite Eight):
(12) Wyldawg vs. (7) PagongSchlong - If the Riliss/Schlong game was legendary, then this one was, simply put, prophetic. Apostle Schlong and Apostle Dawg collided in one of the most spectacular displays of skill and Faith that has ever been witnessed by the human eye. After being unable to reach a conclusion due to the sheer Love of Jonathan Christ that they both shared, they agreed to flip a coin that would determine the winner. As Jonathan would have it, Pope Schlong the Lover was chosen to represent the Church in the Final Four for the first time in our Lord's history.

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Final Four (North Champ vs. West Champ):
(1) Paris Hilton vs. (2) STFU Rudy - Ultimately, this did not turn out to be the matchup that we thought it would. Rudy stumbles out of the gate, allowing Paris to put the match away early, advancing to her first Championship Game ever.

Final Four (South Champ vs. East Champ):
(5) Dictatorship vs. (7) PagongSchlong - Truly, this match was pre-ordained from the beginning. Before the game, a horse bucked its master, trotted into the gym, and took a shit on the match surface. Dictatorship then fell in love with it and had pre-marital sex with it, wearing him out to the point where he simply was no match for the Love of our Chosen One, PagongSchlong.

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CTS Tournament of Champions - Championship Game
(1) Paris Hilton vs. (7) PagongSchlong - It was written in the beginning that those who believed in the Lord would be welcomed into his Paradise, and bestown upon them would be all the Fruits of the World. He who lived his life according to the Piety of Jonathan Christ would rise above the mortal spirit and join Hatch, Jonathan, and Heidik in eternal Joy. This proved to be the case, as Paris' love of her false idol Cirietard proved to be her Achilles' Heel. Pope Schlong the Lover wins a most resounding victory for the unity and purity of the World.

Together, through Jonathan Christ, all things are made possible!

Amen.

yw