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There is no way you could possibly watch this Obsessed TV interview with Kelly Killoren Bensimon in its entirety while at work, partially because it is 35 minutes long, but mostly because you'll begin frantically pulling out your own eyelashes after minute two. In the space of the one interview, she claims credit for her ex-husband Gilles Bensimon's editorial career (he's the creative director of Elle who got her a short-lived job at Elle Accessories, in real life), she calls Bethenny "frickin' Joan Collins," and boasts that she only lost a teen modeling contest to Cindy Crawford because she had a bad haircut. She claims her book American Style "was a really, really important book for American fashion, because it was the first time that anyone had written a book about American fashion that was not a like dissertation on American fashion." But our favorite part is when she claims she talked her way into the Columbia School of General Studies. Here's a little transcript:

"A friend of mine said you should really go to Columbia, they have an amazing journalism department there. And so I actually went to the school and I said to them, I said, 'You know, if you take me, I, you know, you just gotta give me a chance, and if you take me, then I will be the best student, I will do whatever it is, whatever you need whenever you need it. I promise you, you know, I will not be a mistake.' And this man, the dean, was like, 'Who are you? Like, what? No, no, no. We have a process here. You have to fill out an application.' And I was like, 'No no no, It's nice you have an application, I've already sent that in, but I want to go here, and I really really wanted to go there.' And he let me in."

This puts into context how many times Kelly says, "I don't know what's going ON!" throughout this entire video.