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18. America's Next Top Model, Cycle 7

I HATE Cycle 7! Of the American cycles, it is by far the worst. There were very few interesting girls and even fewer that had any sliver of modeling potential. The photoshoots had also hit an all-time low, as the girls were forced to model with outrageous weaves, then on a wobbly platform, then as circus freaks, uns. The worst shoot of all, however, was when the girls had to model as astronauts within a wind tunnel. WTF? The only photoshoot that was even decent was the bullfighting shoot, but even that wasn't that great. With very little (interesting) drama, Cycle 7 subjected us to endless complaints from Jaeda about her hair, a fat Anchal that was constantly eating, yet always complaining about her weight, and the worst ANTM villain of all time, Melrose Bickerstaff. The only girl who even stood a chance at being a big, memorable character had been the third girl eliminated, dooming the rest of the season for failure. Instead of getting Monique as a villain, we were given Melrose. It is not that she didn't provide controversy: all the drama surrounding her was completely boring and exaggerated. Rather than becoming the villain you love to hate, Melrose was just plain hated. The winner wasn't that much better. At first, I thought CariDee was funny and entertaining, but her crazy-girl schtick quickly became annoying and unbearable. She tried too hard to be a memorable character, showing off and being generally obnoxious during every challenge and photoshoot. The fact that I was rooting for her to win out of the Final 7 shows just how bad this cycle really was.

16. America's Next Top Model, Cycle 5

I know a lot of people liked this cycle, but I was not one of them. Given that my favorite was the first one eliminated already put Cycle 5 off to a bad start for me, it didn't do much to regain my interest. Although it had some terrible shoots (such as the fashion victims shoot. What was that?), they weren't anywhere near the same level of sucktitude as Cycle 7's. Still, I found the season to be quite boring. Although one could argue that keeping the bitch around way past her expiration date started earlier (even all the way back to Cycle 1 with Robyn), Cycle 5 institutionalized it with the survival of Lisa and Jayla too far into the competition (Lisa less so, but Jayla for sure. How did she get Top 4 again). Cycle 5 is also the first cycle that made it completely obvious that the winner was predetermined. No matter what Nicole did wrong, the judges would still fawn over her, throwing around the words "high fashion" and "couture" like they could actually be used to describe Nicole. This cycle also continued the trend of the "robbed" runner-up, which still can fill up multiple pages in the Top Model thread if someone is provoked. I think this is the cycle where the term "robbed" became used too frequently. No longer was it describing people like Kahlen and Brittany, who arguably were robbed (although I don't think so), but old hags like Lisa, who had no business being in the competition in the first place!

One reason it outranks the others is purely for sentimental reasons: this was the first cycle that I actually saw live, as it was happening. The previous cycles (Cycles 1, 3, and 4. I didn't see Cycle 2 until much later for some reason) I had only caught as marathons. Watching it weekly makes you much more invested in the outcome than simply watching one episode after the other. I hate to admit it, but at the time, I was drinking the "Nicole is great" Kool-aid by the gallon. I remember my first Top Model post actually being about how I thought Nicole was a deserving winner and then a few posts later, I posted a side-by-side comparison of Nik with a California Condor. . Also, if it weren't for this cycle, we wouldn't have the awesome gif posted above of Nicole crying as bright lights and confetti fall down on her!

15. Make Me a Supermodel

For the first couple episodes, I thought that this was the perfect remedy to America's Next Top Model, which had basically just outed itself as the biggest joke after crowning Saleisha (we'll get to her later). The fact that the show had guy and girl models coupled with the fact that the show would be in "real-time" seemed like such a new and fresh way of presenting a modeling competition. Well, count me in as one who would prefer to watch the truly old and stale America's Next Top Model any day over this again. The judges were partially responsible for it being such a dud, especially the co-hosts, Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford. For the most part, Niki was robotic and lifeless, her inability to read lines without any bit of naturalness or finesse irritating me to no end. Tyson, however, was even worse. Not only were his readings as lifeless as Niki's, his "advice" and "mentorship" of the models were completely eyeroll inducing. I only liked Jennifer Star, who seemed to give good and consistent critiques, although at times she seemed willing to just play along with the other judges in promoting certain peoples.

The models also ended up being a little bit disappointing. Don't get me wrong, the models were of a much greater caliber than any on many of the recent cycles of America's Next Top Model. Unlike on America's Next Top Model, however, most of their personalities were atrocious. Sure, some were nice (like Aryn and Casey), but most were complete bitches (including every one of the guys!). I'm not talking about Jade or even Dominique type bitches. I'm talking about petty, fake bitches, who continuously whinge about the stupidest things and tear down others for no apparent reason other than that they don't like the other person. The boy-girl divide was completely lame and made for a boring episode, especially in the later episodes. The only saving graces were Katy and Shannon, but for very different reasons.

Shannon was my absolute favorite. Of course, there was the controversy about her actually being born a man (a rumor blown out of proportion based on a statement she made about being more like a guy than a girly-girl), but that is not why I like her? Not only could she model, but she had a great sense of humor that, although was very subtle and understated, was still very amusing. Confident and smart, she didn't have to be loud and obnoxious to be noticed, which is something I respect, seeing as how many wannabe Jades there are on these type of shows. The fact that she made it to the Final 5 without ever having been in the Bottom 3 was also impressive and proved just how good of a model she actually was (despite claims by other contestants that she was getting a free ride ). Katy is a different story. At the time, I thought Katy was an absolute disaster and I couldn't wait for her to be eliminated. Little did I know that Katy had actually been a blessing in a thick, nonmodelesque disguise. Outlasting several more "worthy" opponents (although really, Aryn was the only one to get the shaft out of those eliminated before Katy), Katy was finally eliminated after being shown to have gained some serious weight, despite claiming to have worked hard to get skinnier. With Katy's elimination, I thought the show would go much smoother and actually get down to real modeling.

But the show disappointed again! After Katy's departure, there was never truly any VFTW candidate that could adequately keep one that interested in the series. You could root for Frankie, but really, he isn't likable enough for me to continue to vote for him. You could vote for Ben, but he isn't so terrible that voting for him could accurately be considered voting for the worst. Plus, with the way the show was set up, it became completely obvious who would be going home, as undeserving models, like Ben and Ronnie, continuously outlasted better models just because of their "Bromance." Week by week, the show became less and less interesting, as some of my favorite contestants suffered from the popularity of the bromance. Once Shannon was gone at Final 5, I lost complete interest in the show, only watching the rest in hopes that the bromance would be taken down in the end. Holly winning sort of redeemed the season, but not by much. Still, for a first season, it was okay, but I am not sure I would watch a second unless there were some serious changes to the mechanics of the show. Also, you have to give props to a show where about half the contestants get signed with a major agency (even if it is the one that is represented on the show! ). I guess they know how to pick their models. Kudos!