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Oh, c'mon, this cast is easy pickins and there's good, mean-spirited fun to be had at their expense before the show starts. C'mon, people, commence with the judgmental bashing now, please. Why do we have to wait to "get to know them"? No fun.

Me first

Adam. Adam looks like he's from the species-genus of "Zachius-Overly-Enthusiasticus-Slash-Potential-Serial-Killeristic-Stalkinator-Maximus. Totally desparate. You can almost hear the little voice in his head screaming LIKE ME, LIKE ME, LIKE ME! through anxiety-clenched teeth.

He's totally going to have this maniacal, nervous giggle. One that is a little bit too loud and goes on a little bit too long. You think he's an annoyingly clingy little pest - but there's that little warning in the back of your mind making you wonder if he's got a secret room in the basement at home with a padlock on the outter door - with all his "clippings" scotch-taped to the walls...

or maybe he's just a little nerd. Eh, who knows. Time will tell. I vote desparate, on-the-edge psycho myself.

Chelsea. Yikes. Wow. Cry, clownface, cry...

Jacob. He's a smart-ass and not to be trusted. We're gonna LOVE him. True gamer.

James? Quick - anyone got a fire extinquisher? He'll hold his own.

I predict Jen is going to be this season's very own Whiney-elle - er, I mean Danielle.

Natalie. Seriously? She consciously chose that outfit? A girl that puts outfit on, looks in the mirror and DOESN'T say - aw, hell naw.... Well, she's fair game. Season 9 Slut-whore has arrived fake titties and all. They're perky, and unnaturally vertical. I'll bet she can't sleep on her tummy poor Nat. In the words of Wamber, How SAD.

Neil has man-boobies. Big ones. Might he end up James' bitch after the season? This season's Eric & Jess? ***sigh*** ah, love.

Parker looks far too chill. What's he up to? I vote him most likely to sneak in the ganja. Good game plan.

Sheila. Is she Season 9 "Psych. Experiment Part Deaux?" (C'mon, we all know Waaaaamber was psych experiment part one!!) What 45 year old woman voluntarily asks to be locked up with 15 strangers with the median age of 24? Holy shit, get out the xanex & vicoden. And the estrogen supplements. And the botox. I just hope she lasts long enough for us to see her lose it. No way she'll win it.

Oh, and then 6 other boring people I can't tell apart. Hopefully some of them will play dirty & be interesting.

And while it's a bit early, I couldn't resist...Neil's boot icon: