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AlreadyFuzzy wrote:

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OgakorAreMorons wrote:

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calgon take me away wrote:

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At this point it doesn't really matter if she's cheating or not.

The fact that she'd lie about doing something supposedly innocent means your relationship is doomed, anyway.

No way. Every couple tells white lies. How common is it for a girl to go out someplace and her husband say he's staying home but then sneak out with the guys or something for some drinking? This stuff happens all the time and can be purely innocent, IF it's purely innocent. It's wrong and shouldn't be allowed, but it's not grounds for a bad relationship I don't believe.

No, it is not reasonable for 2 people in a committed and loving relationship to tell this sort of lie. A white lie is telling your husband that his hair cut is not that bad and that you still think he is the most handsome blah blah blah.... Lieing about where you are going and keeping an entire evening a secret is a lie kinda lie. Why would you want to be with someone who could not say 'I am going dancing with my friends. I know that is not your cup of tea, but I really want to go. So, I am going to go alone and see you another night.' Who cares about all this skanky whore blow job stuff when you already have a relationship with someone who can't treat you with basic respect and honesty and say what she is really doing. She couldn't say what she was doing because she KNEW it was not going to be innocent.

Walk away, consider yourself lucky. The full details and absolute facts of the situation and finding them all out are not going to help you in any way. Don't waste your time trying to get the truth out of your liar girlfriend. Start fresh.

So you are telling me that sitcom relationships are all wrong? Lucielle Ball was a lying bitch that should have been kicked to the curb? But seriously, she knows I'd have got disappointed if she told me she didn't want to see me that night, because usually we are pretty on.. There have been 2 times when I told her a lie so I could watch a UFC event with some friends to avoid that "So you wanna go to watch that more than see me?" trap. But yeah, I admit it's not the way to handle the situation, it's an amateur move in a relationship that I won't do anymore, and if she was doing that, I'd give her a by because I'm not going to be the first to throw the stone about something that I've done before to save some feelings.

She's a real awesome girl, we are like best friends and have a great life, that's what makes this so difficult to imagine. We are very much alike, but if it turns out she did do something, then all I've known about her will be uglied up and all I will see is dirt and selfishness.

The Virgin Murray wrote:

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Yeah, we need a little elaboration on how this guy came to tell you this. How well have you known him? Did he just coincidentally identify this happening the one night when she had lied to you about going to bed? If it was the same night and there was no way he could have known about your spying on her that night, combined with the mole/dimple, you just have to face reality. Be thankful you found out now.

Also, the act of blowing three guys makes it a purely sexual act, whereas blowing one guy could be interpreted as an emotional relationship with that guy. Sounds like she wanted to do something wild with no attachments afterwards. It may have been the only time, but it sure sounds like that's what happened.

You should at least make her squirm before dumping her. Casually ask her if she ran into that guy recently. Her reaction should tell you a lot.

Sorry, buddy. But if you marry her under these circumstances, you deserve it.

I was at Panera bread, by my house, I go there in the evenings about 4 days a week usually. This guy is a guy I've seen like maybe 5 times at her work at times when I had to pick her up. What gets me is did he hunt me down to tell me that or did we just bump into each other? But that is a good way to sneak it in, I'll bring him up and see how she acts to it. Good idea. The shitty thing is he got laid off from there, so he doesn't work there anymore. Anyway I could get his information from someone inside? Hah, fat chance..

The Virgin Murray wrote:

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Alright, wait a minute. You went to her house and saw a silver truck. You waited around and then saw her come home in the truck. So did you see her leave in the truck? If so, why didn't you follow it? There's a big gap in the story between seeing the truck and then seeing her come home in it.

By the way, for the rest of your married life, every time you see that mole, guess what you're going to think about?

Yeah, I saw the silver truck parked on the side of her house, I didn't think a lot of it. Her brother lives with her and he has friends come over. I drove over there and tried to call her and get a hold of her. The truck drives away and I don't see it, but it drove around the other side of the house (Her house is on the corner of two streets). It was leaving not soon after I got there. I kick myself to this day for not parking on the other side of her house with the truck, but at the time I didn't even know the truck was to her house. I went to her door and she wasn't home.. I found out later she left and I told her about the silver truck, she confirmed that part. I ended up waiting there all night furious waiting to see who drops her off.

But yeah.. that mole drives me crazy now. That's why I'm tryin so hard to confirm or disprove any wrong doings that night. So I can get it out of my head if she didn't do anything, or have to leave her because it haunts me.