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Hi Kitty Pryde1! Thank you so much for this wonderful post. I really appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts, and I'm amazed at how detailed your post is again. You gave me something interesting to read during my lecture last night! :)

I'm gonna do a more MDN style write-up this weak because I've found that I forget a lot of things if I read the whole story and then comment. First up, Matty's comment about how he doesn't want Crystal to be his enemy definitely strikes me as foreshadowing that the two of them could have a Tracy/Mikey B relationship where the two of them have to work together for their mutual benefit.

Yeah, whenever I read other people's work I always comment as I read along too, otherwise I forget things that I wanted to mention.

Very interesting thought about Crystal and Matty. Of course the other possibility is that Matty and Crystal DO become enemies, but I definitely do have that quote in their for a reason.

Next, Crystal's comment about fire being useful while Kelly wasn't is hilarious and although it sounds more like something Randy would say, I could understand it coming from Crystal, as she's essentially the Randy of her tribe.

Thank you. I'm glad you liked this comment. I thought it was fitting for both Crystal and Kelly.

Next, Dan is such a sweetheart. It's always nice to see sweetheart guys because sweetheart girls are so common and most guys get this macho edit. Sadly, it really does seem like he's being set up to take a fall as the hero who comes up just short.

I really, really like Dan's character too and I'm enjoying writing for him, especially since he was a pretty ignored character in the real show.

I also love the fact that he and Charlie formed their little a-law-iance just one season after Eliza, who got Charlie onto the show, did the same. Charlie and Dan seem like they'd be really likely to get along on the show, and I think you've really captured Charlie's character well this episode as someone who basically molds his personality to what he thinks his friends would want. In your fic, Dan is a nice guy, so Charlie's a nice guy. In the real show, Corinne, Marcus, etc. were pricks, so Charlie kinda followed the crowd on that.

Yeah, my concern with having two lawyers again was that it would seem too similar to Eliza and Brooke. And then when I saw "Charcus" on the show, I didn't want to go in that direction either. Someone else brought up that same point about Charlie and I think it's perfect. It's very accurate to both stories, I think.

Also, I love Ace because he's such a good villain in that you know he's there but he's able to kinda hide under the radar and menace the other players from the shadows, which is the best kind of villain.

Yeah, surprisingly, Ace has a quieter start than one might expect, only making a few villain-type comments in confessionals, but at a certain point (coming soon), he will really pick up.

As for the Powerhouse alliance, I love how they gave it an actual name. It's kinda like how Dan & Memphis sat around trying to think up names for their alliance in BB10 before deciding on the Renegades. It's just a badass name. Bringing Ace in is a smart move because it IS better to have him with them than against them. But Paloma is kind of an odd decision, especially after they just previously stated that Gillian and Ken were too weak to keep around long-term. Paloma's not exactly strong either.

I like when alliances have names too because it makes it easier to remember and refer to them so I don't always have to write Dan/Charlie/Paloma/Ace, etc. etc. I agree that it's a pretty good move to bring in Ace right now, because they should be able to give each other protection for a bit before they go after each other.

The way I think of Paloma is that she's a step above Gillian and Ken as far as strength goes. Corinne is above Paloma strength-wise, but they didn't pick her because she was, as Charlie puts it in Ep 3, "Cruelle de Vil."

XD @ Randy referrring to Kelly as "the chick with the big tits". Chauvanist Randy is hilarious. His confessional after the challenge is pretty interesting too and seems like he's being set up for a fall, perhaps taking the comfort himself at some point.

Interesting about him possibly taking comfort. It could happen, but it was more because he was the best person to give that kind of grumpy confessional to.

The challenge itself was kinda boring though, even though I know it's a challenge from Guatemala (where Rafe couldn't climb a ladder).

It's a combination of the net challenges from Africa and Guatemala, plus the flag part and turnstile added onto it.

Gillian was a sympathetic character in this episode because she really wanted to prove herself and earn her stay on the island, rather than someone who would just be shown as latching on and being dragged. Dan was nice to her though and I still can't understand why that alliance picked Paloma over her. She did put a target on herself and Ken made a point of notice that, which is in his best interests because if Gillian's seen as weak, that's an extra three days he gets to stay in the game. Ken's definitely an under-the-radar threat and that's why I still think he's one of the best Edgic choices to win.

Gillian was definitely supposed to be a sympathetic character. Another reason why the alliance picked Paloma though is because Charlie was already friends with Paloma, whereas Gillian was somewhat isolated from the tribe. That's definitely Ken's logic, but what he doesn't seem to realize is that he's the next weakest after Gillian, so if Gillian goes, then he could be next.

I felt sorry for Susie in Exile because she basically got such bad luck in not being able to make fire or be comfortable or anything like that. Her fear of animals is funny though, as it's a running plotline for the first two episodes.

Yeah. I wanted people to feel sorry for her (which is why I think she's getting Mixeds instead of Ns), and that's why she commented on Bob starting fire and had the wild animals story as well.

Back on Kota, there's a definite divide between Marcus and the other three members of his alliance I think, even though he thinks he close with them. I think Bob is the real leader, as much as Marcus wants it to be him. Bob gets a ton of praise from his two girls, Jacquie and Sugar, and I like the whole idea of Sugar loving Bob because he's a father figure for her out there. i really thought it would come more into play during the real show, especially after Sugar talked about how she thought "the guy with the bowtie seems nice" in one of her interviews.

Interesting point about Marcus/Bob. And I agree with you about the Sugar and Bob connection. I immediately knew they had to be on the same tribe in my fanfic because of this potential relationship, and I was really surprised that it never seemed to come up on the real show until the last few episodes.

Ace is a very good player it seems. He's wary of the alliance with Dan & Charlie, but he's more than willing to take it because it means that he'll be safe at least for a little while. Personally, I see Ace, Corinne, Michelle, Randy and Ken forming somewhat of a negative counteralliance against Dan/Charlie/Paloma, and there won't be a whole lot they can do about it.

That's something I definitely thought about too, and it could happen. Seems like it might be a likely scenario when/if Gillian is out of the picture.

As for the immunity challenge, again, I didn't really care for it too much, mainly because it was kind of a rehashing and it just didn't excite me. I thought it sucked how Gillian was once again singled out as being unable to be seated out. I hope she manages to win some stuff singlehandedly and prove herself like Susie did. But she got her happy moment of giving her tribe the win, even if it was by doing the most meaningless task ever.

The challenge wasn't a rehash of one single challenge though. I've tried not to do that, so I've been picking and choosing different parts and then putting them together. But I can understand how it wouldn't be the most exciting challenge possible.

It was pretty obvious that Susie was going to be booted. I mean, after Kelly was voted out because of the blatant obviousness of her alliance with Matty, there was no way the obvious alliance of Crystal, Susie and G.C. would survive, and there would be absolutely no benefit to a tribe that's already losing to vote out either G.C. or Crystal. Susie had no real clue to the hidden immunity idol other than it was at camp. That's it. There was no way she was surviving.

I agree with all of that.

Also, "The Upper Hand"? That is the dumbest alliance name ever. Why can't Marcus think up alliance names that AREN'T stupid as hell? Seriously, it's almost as bad as the Onion.

Oh, I liked the name "The Upper Hand."

Matty's not a very smart player. I mean, Marcus tells him it's not Matty and Matty just feels relieved right away. Honestly though, Crystal rallying to take Matty out, when the tribe had lost three straight challenges, just made her seem desperate, and it was poor gameplay on her part. She should've realized that Susie was a sinking ship and there wasn't a whole lot she could do to save her without putting a bigger target on her own back. Also, threatening people with an immunity idol that you don't possess is extremely stupid gameplay on her part.

Right, and I think Crystal realized this when she got the 3 votes at Tribal Council.

Susie trying to play a random bone as the immunity idol would've been funny, and Crystal pulling an Eliza "It's just a bone!" is even funnier. It's weird because Crystal was barely featured in the episode up until that pre-tribal scrambling, yet she just felt like a bigger presence.

I know; I was trying to add some humor into the episode without it just being a repeat of that exact situation. I was trying very hard to have Crystal be a smaller presence in the episode, but she still ended up being a 4 on the chart, so I don't know. Sometimes I just have a character that tends to show up no matter what.

Tribal council time. Bob's a science whiz which is cute and Matty once again acts like a complete twat with his comments about Susie. Sugar gave away the entire alliance (and if the past two episodes have been any theme, it says that keeping your alliances secret is important, as the two players booted were booted for being in obvious alliances.) Crystal trying to rally the troops was interesting, but it's gonna be even more interesting when they get back to camp after she was nearly voted out. Crystal, Marcus and Matty seem like they could all eventually get caught in a power struggle for dominance of the tribe though. And Sugar is really getting built up as a sweetheart once again.

I'll be honest in saying that I never consciously considered the "obvious alliance" thing, but that doesn't mean it's something that won't continue to come up without me knowing it would continue to come up. It's actually a really great idea!

Honestly, I really liked Gillian in this episode and how she was built up so much as this underdog. It was tragic in a way.

I'm glad to hear this. Her story will continue this way in the coming episode(s).

7 (It was a pretty boring episode, honestly...)

Yeah, I agree that it wasn't the most exciting episode, so I'm fine with a 7.

Susie, have you like, never gone to the zoo before or something?

Okay, I'll ask her something about the wild animals for sure.

Interesting predictions for Episode 3. Thank you for you those, and for filling out the Popularity Poll. Very glad to see quite a few 8s-10s.

Finally, thank you for those fantastic Edgic ratings. Great job on all of them, once again! And a great list of contenders as well. :)

I look forward to seeing how your thoughts change with the coming episodes.

Thanks again for your thorough and detailed comments. It was a pleasure to read through everything, and if you wrote so many amazing thoughts for an episode that was a little boring, I can't wait to see what you will come up with for a more exciting one. Hope you enjoy the rest of the story, and have a great day! :)

Hello GSWblue. Great to hear from you again. Thanks for reading, and for sharing these comments:

Both of the episodes have been good, not fantastic, so far. If I had to give each episode a whole number rating, I'd probably go for an 8 for the premiere and a 7 for episode 2.

Thank you. I'll take "good" and hopefully they will gradually build up to "fantastic." :) I will put your 7 into my spreadsheet so that it counts towards the episode average.

I like the formation of alliances so far and it has been well-balanced with camp scenes. Fang's water-finding scene (more on that in a moment), Gillian being unwilling to participate in the reward at first, and the leeches scene were all really memorable. I also like Kelly accusing Crystal of using steroids, and Crystal being happy about sacrificing Kelly for fire.

Thanks. I'm glad you have enjoyed these scenes.

Although some have criticized your challenges, I like them better than some of the ones you have written in the past. (I do need to read more of your seasons - I'm basically basing this comparison off of China, which is the only one I can remember reading in full.)

Thanks. I haven't found these challenges to be that bad either. I think the challenges improved starting in China - I know some of them were really boring prior to that.

I guess the question I have at this point is, "What would the punishment for Kota have been if Susie had taken comfort?" I would like to know this for every immunity challenge, whether it comes into play or not. I know that writing challenges is not your favorite thing (IIRC, you write challenges last or next-to-last), so if this question is too bothersome, don't worry about answering it.)

Actually, for this season, I haven't written all of the challenges last. I used to write them near the end, but I've been writing them more in the middle now and it's working out well that way.

As for the disadvantages, I have to make sure that the Immunity Challenges are such that they can have something "added on" to them. For this one, it would have been that Kota had to chop an extra set of planks down (5, instead of Fang's 4) and they would therefore have more planks to place into their track.

Second, I'm going to go back to the difference between smirking and smiling that I noticed in China. In China, you went for a fairly negatively edited winner (your most negative overall, I think). Unless you do the same thing this time, Randy is probably out of the running (as he was shown smirking even in his picture in the credits), and Charlie is looking good at the moment (as he smiles, not smirks like someone who is overconfident or spiteful).

I remember you posting about this, and I've been a little more aware of it since then. In my mind, "smirk" has a little bit more of a negative connotation to it, which is why characters like Randy and Ace tend to be described this way, whereas Charlie just seems very happy and excited to be there, and so he is more likely to smile. I know that I have also used "grin" for Charlie too because he seems to have a big smile, which can be described as a grin.

Although I don't understand all the complexities of edgic, I can barely remember Corinne or Jacquie, so if being completely out of the spotlight early on eliminates someone from winner contention, neither of those two women will win.

Interesting. I know that Corinne was invisible in Episode 2, but I thought her Episode 1 opening was fairly strong. Guess not though.

I can't say that I was sad when either Kelly or Susie was booted, but you did a good job writing storylines for them. It did seem like it was time for them to go.

Thanks. They were both pretty ignored in the real show, so I'm glad that I was able to give them some better stories.

I'm looking forward to future episodes. I'm curious to see how the Exile-IC penalty connection plays out, and I'm sure that there will be a good TC or two coming up soon too.

Thank you. I'm glad that you're excited, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the story. I'm sure you're right about there being some great TCs to come! Take care. :)

Just a reminder that Episode 3 will go up on Saturday! Hope everyone enjoys it! :)