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Survivor: Borneo

"you must go bye bye now"-Richard Hatch

"When my wife asks me what it was like out here I'll tell her I was with a queer who ran around bare ass half the time." - Rudy Boesch

"I dont like her....and I never will!" -Rudy on Stacey Silliman

"I pulled them Green Beret fellas aside and told them Richard was queer. That's the kind of thing they need to know."-Rudy Boesch

"The homosexual is one of the nicest guys I ever met. You know, he's fat, but he's good. Me and Rich got to be pretty good friends. Not in a homosexual way, that's for sure."-Rudy Boesch

"That's the trouble with kids these days. They need somebody beating them in the head."-Rudy Boesch

"I don't even know what MTV means, ya know. All I know is Frank Sinatra and Perry Homo."-Rudy Boesch

Um... I have no questions, I just have statements.
Rich you're a very openly arrogant, pompous human being, but I admire your frankness with it. You have worked hard to get where you're at, and you started working hard way before you came to the island. So with my work ethic background, I give that credit to you. But, on the other hand, your inability to admit your failures without going into a whiny speech makes you a bit of a loser in life.
Kelly the rafting personae queen, you did get stomped on, on national TV by a city boy that never swam - let alone been in the woods or jungle or been on a boat in his life. You sucked on that game. Anyways, I was your friend at the beginning of this, really thinking that you were a true friend. I was willing to be sitting there and put you next to me. At that time you were sweeter than me, I'm not a very openly nice person. I'm just frank, forward, and telling it the way it is.
To have you sit there next to me and me lose $900,000 dollars just to stomp on somebody like this. [Motions to Richard.] But as the game went along and the two tribes merged, you lied to me, which showed me the true person that you are. You're very two-faced and manipulative to get where you're at anywhere in life, that's why you fail all the time. So at that time of the game, I decided just to go out with my alliance to my family, and just to hold my dignity and values in check and hope I hadn't lost too many of them and... uh... play the game just as long as possible and hang in there as long as possible.
But Kelly, go back to a couple times Jeff said to you, "what goes around comes around." It's here. You will not get my vote. My vote will go to Richard, and I hope that is the one vote that makes you lose the money. If it's not, so be it, I'll shake your hand and I'll go on from here but if I was ever to pass you along in life again and you were laying there dying of thirst, I would not give you a drink of water. I would let the vultures take you and do whatever they want with you, with no ill regrets.
I plead to the jury tonight to think a little bit about the island that we have been on. This island is pretty much full of only two things: snakes and rats. And in the end of mother nature we have Richard the snake, who knowingly went after prey, and Kelly, who turned into the rat that ran around like the rats do on this island, trying to run from the snake. I feel we owe it to the islands spirits that we've come to know to let it be, in the end, the way mother nature intended it to be - for the snake to eat the rat. -Sue Hawk's famous jury speech.

Sue to Dirk: "You lookin like hell. You look like a Nazi war-camp prisoner dude. Look, my arm is bigger than yours now." Dirk to Sue: "It was before."

"This morning I had a bowel movement. It felt fantastic."-Sean Kenniff

(after building a bowling alley for 5 hours) "My parents will be so proud!"-Sean Kenniff

"I do see Greg differently after seeing his video and attaching a family to him. At least we know he's not the only screwball in his family. It seems to be a genetic trait over there"-Sean Kenniff

Sean (Voting for Greg) "In keeping with my alphabetic strategy I'm voting for Greg, it would have been Gervase's turn but he won Immunity. I don't think it will mean very much."

"...it's going to be just like a game show, this is going to be so cool, and then I was like, waaaait aaaaaa miiiinute - we're ON! a game show."

"The second that Rich opens his mouth, I'm like 'Oh, be quiet over there in the corner!' You think you're so great and you're not making any sense. He thinks he's so above everybody! I mean go home and get your liposuction, go catch more fish, cause you're buggin' me! ...I mean, he thinks he's so great and he's full of baloney, really!" -Colleen Haskell

"It does no good to befriend dinner."-Colleen on the chickens

"We're trapped on a desert island. We're horny."-Colleen Haskell

Gervase: "I may have made the (cow) comment, but Joel lives and breathes it."

Fear motivated self-preservation is the worst kind of game I can imagine.-Greg Buis

"If people form alliances and just pick people off, that to me is really boring and ...ohh! Cool flying fish!" -Greg

"Rats aren't bad, rats are rats. Questions of edibility only have to do with your perceptions" -Greg Buis

I'm concerned that it will be a bit gamey; we won't have quite that gravy that we're looking for. Which would really be helpful. When cooking rats I assume that the sauce is of the utmost importance.-Greg Buis

Greg (votes Joel): "The nature phone says so."

Greg Buis (voting for Jenna Lewis for the 3^rd time) "First time for paranoia, second time for Irritation and third time because my ear infection is clearing up."

"It's like a kitten. You pet your kitten. You play with your kitten. It sleeps with you. Then you get hungry and snap its neck. It's not personal. You're hungry!"-Greg Buis

Greg to his sister at home "Hi Julie, I just want to say, it was really special for you to send me and everybody here what you did. We feel like we could feel you and we felt you. Some of us felt you more than others and others can only imagine what its like to feel you.-Greg Buis

Rudy to Greg's sister "Julie, we have to put up with him for about two more weeks. Than maybe we'll kill em'. Is that doin you a favor?"

Survivor: Africa

"If a hyena eats this slop and then licks its ass, is it because it's the animal thing to do ... or because it's trying to get the taste out of its mouth?" - Big Tom

Big Tom's vote for Ethan (and against Kim J.) to win the million in Africa:
"Just like the Indian woman in my hometown... you stuck a knife in my back. Everything that goes around comes around. And Kim... you lost 2, 3 challenges, and I felt sorry for you. But then... I decided we'd keep the weakest one! And you was the weakest one, and you rode me, and Ethan, and Lex's coattails to get where you are. But you're not Dorothy, and you can't click them shoes and do something miraculous this time, because your failure has caught up with you. And no, I'm not whispering like you tell me every morning. Tonight it's my turn to tell you... SHHHH! I'm hushing you! SHUT UP, YOU'RE DONE! Ethan, the best man has won, the weak one just got drug along. And I don't care if they DID hear it!"

"Damn you, Carl, for leaving me with a bunch of misfits."-Frank, following the Mallrats' ouster of Dr. B.