fuck, im having similar problems with my girlfriend.
weve been dating for awhile now and shes one of these girls who believes in 'cinderella' romance. in her mind, once you love a person, you are
completely devoted to them in every in every sense of the word. its sweet to an extent, and flattering at times, but its also comes across as incredibly naive
and unrealistic. i mean, id love if romance were truly like that - unconditional and unimpeded affection - and perhaps for some couples it really is just
that...but i just cant pretend it is in my case.
...and im not talking about cheating or flirting. ive never contemplated cheating on her or put myself in a position to do so. i respect her very much and
because i know she is sensitive to these issues, i am careful to be extra attentive. but thats not enough for her, in her mind a man who loves a woman should
never even be attracted, let alone turned-on by another female in his presence. this is an idealistic approach and i can understand why she would want things
to be this way, but i just dont think its all that reasonable. when i see an attractive woman, i know shes attractive. its not exactly a choice for me. the
fact that i have a girlfriend whom i love very much doesnt change that. and as a man who is in a committed relationship, i can be attracted to a random woman
without pursuing them or allowing myself to be put in a position of temptation. is this all that uncommon or irrational?
the other day she asked me if i could be turned on by another woman. like a fool i replied,
"its possible, if i found the woman attractive, that i could be turned on by her. but since im very happy with the relationship i have, i would never allow myself to be put in that position."
i suppose i could have gave her the stock answer i knew she wanted to hear, but im just getting fed up
sugar-coating my response to this often-asked line of questioning. needless to say the fallout wasnt pretty...
so be honest with me, am i being an asshole here? should i tell her that she is the only woman in this world i find attractive, even if i dont believe it to be
true? is it even possible to feel this way? is love truly just about being a sycophant, massaging the insecurities of your significant other?
