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Hey Guys!

I have to admit I really look forward to writing these little blogs. As soon as I watch the episode myself, I'm on the computer so I can get you all up to date. I also have to admit that it is hard reading all the comments, and how disappointed you all are with me for keeping Wes " src="http://s.wordpress.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif"> … especially now that I have let that Handsome Jesse and Sweetheart Michael go for your least favorite guy (Wes). I totally understand where you're coming from though and I know how frustrating it is when you wish I could have seen what you're seeing now (I feel your pain!)

But if there is any consolation to you at all, it is that my promise still stands … I AM a smart girl, and I AM extremely happy with the final result. And the most important decision (which is the only one that really matters) was the right one! So pour yourself a glass of wine, sit back, and enjoy! (And please still feel free to make fun of me and laugh at me! It's supposed to be fun!)

Hometown dates were probably one of my favorite parts of this entire process. I really was waiting for a family that made me think Monster-in-Law, but not ONCE did this happen! Each family got better every time. It was actually very interesting how much the final five guys' families were alike. They all had such healthy relationships and all had so much fun with each other.

Reid and I talked a lot about our families prior to going to Philly, and I talked about my granny a lot (do you guys remember her putting boxer shorts on Jason's head from last season?) Well - Reid had told me that his granny doesn't talk a lot and I think he was worried that his granny (or Mom-Mom as he calls her) wouldn't be as cool as mine. Well, "Mom-Mom Rosenthal" and I went into this little room with a few glasses of wine and we had a blast! We talked and talked and talked until they had to literally pull us out of there! Reid was like, "Whoa! I have not seen her so talkative!"

Another thing to note about Reid's family is how FUNNY his brothers are! Within minutes we were joking around with each other. At one point Reid's brother Chad was bugging his dad about his ears being a little big. Well, I turned to him and said, "Chad, your ears aren't exactly a normal size either!" As soon as I said it, my face turned white… everyone was silent for a few seconds… and then the room filled with a roaring laughter. That's when I knew Reid's family would be a fun family to be a part of.

It looks like Kip's family was a bit 'intense' but they were so warm! Kip's mom is just very direct, and to be honest, I really appreciated it! I thought I aced that hometown date until the end. Oh boy… so Kip's dad brings out this banjo (or was it a guitar… I can't remember) and starts strumming this tune. He then tells me that I have to improvise a blues song called the "Bachelorette Blues." Oh my Lord, you guys… I WAS THE WORST! They were laughing so hard at me. As you know my voice is a little raspy so I don't have the smoothest singing voice and to improvise lyrics with your new "potential" in-laws with five cameras in your face… forget it. I was a good sport but was secretly mortified!

I am fully aware at this point you guys are wondering what the heck I am thinking by hanging on to Wes (trust me, my family and friends are one episode away from getting my head examined). I don't know what more to tell you. There are some qualities about Wes that I could relate to and we really DID have real conversations about family, friends and life… conversations that I did not have with the other guys. I knew there were MAJOR red flags with him, and I needed to figure out if this was just a friendship or if he was someone that I would actually risk saying "you're the one'" to.

Let's end this blog with something positive. Ed comes back!?! Watching this show I can definitely say it looks like this was all set up. I know that's what you all are thinking… but it really wasn't. The dude really did fight to come back, and I was SHOCKED. There were so many things flying through my mind like, "Is he The One? What if he isn't? How will the other guys feel about this? Is this fair? Does it matter? And boy, does Ed look cute in his argyle sweater." Although I knew I had strong feelings for Ed, I knew accepting him back would be controversial but I didn't want to always wonder '"what if" and had to figure why I couldn't get this guy off my mind while we were away.

All in all, I thought this was a great episode. I made some good decisions, and maybe some bad ones… but it was real. It was hard to hear the feelings that Jesse had for me because he never really told me those feelings… I let him go because I didn't know how he felt about me and our relationship was moving way too slow. He is an incredible individual and I don't doubt he will find what he is looking for. I cried when I saw Michael's departure interview. He is such a sweetheart - I hope this opens up many doors for Michael. He deserves every ounce of happiness in life.

Thank you again for reading - I do appreciate all of your support… I'm itching for you guys to find out what happens in the end!

Love Always,
Jilly