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No, it was Twatwaffle.

I will admit that for many seasons, I would read the blogs posted by somebody named Lex, who had been on the 3rd season of Survivor. He seemed really smart about the game, always insightful, totally awesome grasp of strategy. Were it not for a production fuck up (the question about tattoos, which Lex got right but was declared wrong, netting him an extra 100 g's) Lex could have won Africa.

He came to All Stars with all that insight, all those strategies and knew what it was to come up oh so painfully short. He even starts off well, Lex flying UTR on his tribe, making snappy comments, even if he suddenly sounded too much like Amazon Rob C.

Suddenly, however, he becomes the stupidest motherfucker to ever play Survivor. Eliminates all 3 males on his tribe who would ABSOLUTELY be voted out before him in any merge or tribe switch situation. He keeps the one person he should most get rid of. Friends my ass, vote out Amber, Rob mentally crumbles but instead he votes out his friend and ally with the justification that it's only a game.

Only to freak the fuck out when he realized he'd sunk himself and had only Kathy on his side.

Queue shivering, teary eyed Twatwaffle and the most bitter jury member ever, followed by the hilarity of the ASS DVD commentary.

Yes, Twatwaffle is the dumbest player EVER in the HISTORY of Survivor. He was smart enough and seasoned enough to know better, which is why he's such a loathesome, stupid fucking twat(waffle).

-SJ™