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Here is Cornfed's VH1 interview.


On stage at the reunion, you and Real resolved to give your relationship a try. What happened between then and now that made you write what you did?

I reached out to him. I texted him. He didn't hit me back for about two days and the only thing he said was, "Sorry I didn't make it out [to see you], tell Cali I said happy birthday." He hasn't tried to get in contact with me after that. I feel like his attempt to have a relationship with me was just for cameras. I went into the reunion thinking there would be something again, and he completely lied. I feel like it was acting. He came up with all these excuses to break up with me. I don't think he had a legitimate reason to break up with me. I never checked his phone. I never "went left field." I'm a very laid-back person. I was very understanding of his lifestyle. We were thousands of miles apart - I had to be understanding. My thing is, if he doesn't want to be with me: fine. But don't come up with all these excuses not to be with me. It makes me look like an idiot. I'm a good woman and really awesome girlfriend.

What was the breaking point? You visited him Labor Day weekend and it was all good. Things went awry from there?

He started acting weird on the phone. He went from calling me three times a day, telling me how he loved me to calling maybe every two days. He had all these excuses and I could tell he was being distant. There are a lot of rumors going around saying there's going to be a Season 2. I know this show was really successful, so maybe that was his purpose? He kept saying that it wasn't good for his career to have a serious girlfriend and he wanted to take things slow…just different excuses all the time. I was like, "How much slower do you want to take it? For God's sake, I live in North Dakota!" He went from asking me to move out there to taking things slow and it was just like wow. He completely flipped.

In light of this, do you question his sincerity in the first place?

Absolutely, I'm gonna question it. I put my heart into this and I feel like he felt the same way. I don't think that he did not have feelings for me, but I know for a fact that it wasn't love. I think it was just strong feelings. I'm pretty sure that I fell more in love with him than he did with me. I really, really did love Real. There are people who think there are a lot of fakes out there, that this stuff is just for TV, but my heart was so invested in this.

Did Real ever give further explanation for the "not good for my career" excuse? Good for his music career? His reality TV career? What?

He thinks he's some rock star and I can't handle his rock-star lifestyle. I don't get it. What do you mean you're a rock star? Don't go on TV looking for love if you don't think any girl can handle your rock-star lifestyle.

Are you heartbroken?

I was very heartbroken when we started getting distant. It took me a long time to get over him. Even up until the reunion, I still had feeling for him, or the old feelings came back. A part of me will always have a lot of love for him. Who I fell in love with on the show was who I thought that Real was. After it ended, he seemed to have changed. I don't love that person. To go on the computer and see what he said about me behind the scenes, that was totally bulls***. He said one thing behind the scenes and then he gets onstage and says something else. Real is not what America sees. He is not Real as people think he is.

So you were growing distant, while everyone was watching you grow together. That must have made a strange viewing experience.

It was difficult. Just when you think you're starting to get over somebody, you gotta watch it. I would start experiencing feelings again and start missing him a lot. I started hearing that he was talking to the other girls from the show. And I don't care, he can have any type of relationship he wants with them. But he wasn't talking to me anymore. I thought, "Wow. You really don't want anything to do with me." The thing is, I developed strong relationships in that house so he couldn't do anything behind my back. I heard everything.

Do you know which girls he was talking to?

I do, but I don't want to say. The girls are the ones who told me. One of the girls he was still in contact with didn't even know he picked me. I played dumb and didn't let them know he picked me, just to see what they'd say. That's how I played the game in the house. I would never put mine and Real's business out there, but those girls would do that in a second. I don't see why they'd lie about it, but when I'd confront Real about it, he'd tell me they were making it up. I wanted to believe him because I loved him, but it was happening too much.

I'm sure you've heard the rumor that you've been dating Nick Brown from The Real World Hollywood. Do you care to address that?

It's so funny. Nick and I are really good friends. I worked with this booking agent, who worked with a lot of Real World people, so he introduced me to Nick. Nick and I started talking on MySpace and then the phone. We have a lot of things in common. We put each other in our top friends and then this rumor started going around that we were dating and we hadn't even met physically. We didn't hang out till last weekend. We're not together or dating, but he's a good guy and I like him a lot.

So just to be absolutely clear: it's absolutely over between you and Real?

Yes. I don't know what he's going to say about it, but anything he says is a lie. I'm so sick of holding this in. I held it in for way too long. I'm still the same person and I want people to see that I'm a real person who had real feelings going into this. I was hurt bad. Like, really, really bad.

You said that you didn't think love could be found on reality TV, but then you got there and found that it could. Looking back, do you wish you'd kept up your guard?

No. I don't regret anything. I've always been the type to go into a situation with my heart on my sleeve. I don't think you can find love unless you wear your heart on your sleeve. It sucks that I got my heart broken, but I picked myself back up. I'm gonna move on because I'm a good woman and whoever I end up with will be lucky to have me. I'll be lucky, too, because he'll be the one.