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The Virgin Murray wrote:

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At this point, I'm not walking away until I get a confession or find out first hand either way(which will either get a confession or prove her innocence). Last night I was also a little manipulative. During my confession of needing some time away, I told her that no matter what happens we still have a future together, I just want to know the truth so we can move forward. I said there is nothing, no act that could ever take us apart. But I was lying through my death. I want to lull her into a confession, at this point I don't care if I cause a struggle here, but as long as I'm going crazy, if I can instill that same paranoia and fear in her that she caused me to go through, all the better. I will not walk quietly into that good night.

OK, you actually did better than I expected you to. I would suggest you go a little further and tell her you could live with it if she really did this and it was just a wild "bacholorette" kind of thing she needed to get out of her system. But what you can't live with is the possibility that she is lying to you. Now you've told her she can come clean and still salvage her impending marriage. Of course, this is bullshit, but that's not important. The key point here as you have aptly recognized is that she will not confess to this if she didn't really do it. So if she doesn't, you're still not sure, but if she does confess, you've learned what you need to know. Plus, after she confesses, you tell her you need to know the details. How did it happen? Where? Who? These details will enable you to verify it. If, in the remote chance she confesses to something she didn't do, she will struggle with the details.

But if she doesn't confess, you really need to find this other guy, and do it without tipping her off so she won't go to him and get him to cooperate. I'm guessing she could figure out how to do that pretty easily.

What are the chances you're going to be able to find him? Tell us how much you know about him and maybe we can come up with some ideas. One thing would be to drop in at whatever clubs she frequents because wherever she was that night, she probably ran into him there.

Well, he worked with her until he was laid off or quit or whatever happened. So I don't think he met her at any clubs. He's white like I am, she goes to mexican clubs and all that reggatone music or however you spell it. Spanish hip hop etc. I only got a first name and nothing else. The only thing I can think of is somehow getting his information from her work. They wouldn't give that to me though for no reason would they? If you can think of a reason how I can find that out I'm all ears. I've thought about asking around seeing if he had any friends there that might know something but I don't know.