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The Church of Jonathan Christ - The Old Testament

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PagongSchlong	The Church of Jonathan Christ - The Old Testament	Lead	[-]
Posts: 3743 (12/01/06 11:59 AM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	If Richard Hatch = GOD, then Jonathan must surely be his beloved son, Jesus Christ. I thank the Lord for bestowing his beloved Son upon us. Let us pray... Our father, who art in prison hallowed be thy name. The Kingdom come, thy will be done in the Cook islands as it was in Borneo. Last Edited By: PagongSchlong 04/09/08 10:37 PM. Edited 2 times.
Gregoire	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#1	[-]
Posts: 28122 (12/01/06 11:59 AM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Yul = Buddha
Boone	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#2	[-]
Posts: 2065 (12/01/06 12:00 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite
Francois40	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#3	[-]
Posts: 2429 (12/01/06 12:21 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	If we're going with the Biblical references, the Candice = JUDAS, both for the betrayal of Aitu and for the KISS (yeccch). Unfortunately, she didn't win her "30 pieces of silver" aka $1 Million.
PagongSchlong	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#4	[-]
Posts: 3743 (12/01/06 1:31 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	No, No, No. This thread is only to talk about his HOLINESS, Richard Hatch and the 2nd coming of his ALMIGHTINESS, Jonathan. There is no room to speak of the evil things that be on the Cook Islands. (ie. The Asian man, or the white harlots) Let all things be made possible through Jonathan. Amen.
Antithesys	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#5	[-]
Posts: 22571 (12/01/06 1:36 PM) Gadabout Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Heidik = God s.ia
PagongSchlong	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#6	[-]
Posts: 3743 (12/01/06 1:39 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Anti, I'll agree that Heidik was a god, but not THE GOD. You know, the one that's in the Bible. You know...Richard Hatch.
Lake Like The Ocean	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#7	[-]
Posts: 517 (12/01/06 1:48 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	tom westman is the guy who kicked gods ass aka SUPERMAN
tutorial	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#8	[-]
Posts: 3489 (12/01/06 1:49 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Becky = Goddess of Guanyin
BillNyeSurvivorGuy	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#9	[-]
Posts: 1900 (12/01/06 1:55 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Heidik was a false God, his works were made of clay, while he was given blessings of wealth his entertainment factor in Thailand doth lack and he do not given succor to his fans and rebuketh them by grievous ignorance! Jonathan shall lead me by hilarious waters, breezes of pepperoni shall fill the air, and he is a RATIONAL GOD, easy to predict yet hard to master. He speaks truths and when challenged he will use his golden tongue to cut you 1000 ways and yet you will still live, but only to feel the agony of your wounds! His voice is like a hymn.. if Ray Romano and Alan Alda were at church. He performs miracles, by turning money into Pizza, Hotdogs & Beer, and Toothbrushes. All fish realize him as their God and actually throw themselves onto Jonathan's most pure and holy crotch, where the seeds of life are carried. Then their bodies be consumed into the heaven that is John's stomach. He deny's the wicked food, preferring to give onto them, wisdom, in the form of pure pwnage, for that is the best food of all. I could go on but I believe I have said enough to convince the heathens Jonathan is the One True God.
PagongSchlong	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#10	[-]
Posts: 3743 (12/01/06 1:56 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Amen.
Riliss	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#11	[-]
Posts: 4028 (12/01/06 2:17 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Jonathan Christ, bless me with your apathy.
Boone	Re: If Richard Hatch = GOD, then...	#12	[-]
Posts: 2065 (12/01/06 2:33 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	*Quote:* Heidik was a false God, his works were made of clay, while he was given blessings of wealth his entertainment factor in Thailand doth lack and he do not given succor to his fans and rebuketh them by grievous ignorance! Jonathan shall lead me by hilarious waters, breezes of pepperoni shall fill the air, and he is a RATIONAL GOD, easy to predict yet hard to master. He speaks truths and when challenged he will use his golden tongue to cut you 1000 ways and yet you will still live, but only to feel the agony of your wounds! His voice is like a hymn.. if Ray Romano and Alan Alda were at church. He performs miracles, by turning money into Pizza, Hotdogs & Beer, and Toothbrushes. All fish realize him as their God and actually throw themselves onto Jonathan's most pure and holy crotch, where the seeds of life are carried. Then their bodies be consumed into the heaven that is John's stomach. He deny's the wicked food, preferring to give onto them, wisdom, in the form of pure pwnage, for that is the best food of all. I could go on but I believe I have said enough to convince the heathens Jonathan is the One True God. Has a person on Cook Islands been described any better then this? Fucking post of the season!
Jericoholic43	,	#13	[-]
Posts: 1684 (12/01/06 3:58 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	AMEN
lizzo1	Re: ,	#14	[-]
Posts: 730 (12/01/06 4:18 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	BillNye, that is one of the funniest things I've ever read on this board. Big Amen.
Sol Invicto	Re: ,	#15	[-]
Posts: 72 (12/01/06 4:56 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Jonathan is my shepherd; I shall not want. He Maketh me to lie down in green pastures while he does the fishing: he leadeth me beside the still waters as fish dangle from his crotch. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of pwnageness for his names sake. Yul, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Candicimation, I will fear NO evil: for Jonathan art with me; his belches and his mutinies they comfort me. Jonathan preparest a meal before me in the presence of mine enemies: Jonathan anointest my head with beer; his cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the camp of Jonathan for ever.
Mike36fan	Re: ,	#16	[-]
Posts: 506 (12/01/06 5:11 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	*Quote:* Jonathan must surely be his beloved son, Jesus Christ. I thought JC was Bobby Jon.
GodIsAnAtheist	Re: ,	#17	[-]
Posts: 4337 (12/01/06 5:28 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	I was about to take the Lord (Heidik, that is)'s name in vane, but when I saw this thread was dedicated to Jonathan Christ, I immediately repented my sins. PEACE BE TO JON!!!
Mega64	Re: ,	#18	[-]
Posts: 9056 (12/01/06 5:33 PM) Registered User Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	Couldn't have said that better myself, BillNye. I shall pray for Jonathan to bring salvation to this miserable game show, and let the producers and viewers see the true light. Let them see that it's what's on the inside, not the outside, that makes a person entertaining to watch. Especially in the case of Bruce.
Boone	Re: ,	#19	[-]
Posts: 2065 (12/01/06 5:57 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	My God. Jonathan has formed an religion in sucksterdom? Who would have thought it....
ParvatiTheShallow	Re: ,	#20	[-]
Posts: 545 (12/01/06 6:38 PM) Registered user Reply Quote More Recent Posts Message Connection Block Invite	nice to know there are true believers in our midst.

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The Church of Jonathan Christ - The Old Testament

The Church of Jonathan Christ - The Old Testament

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