Tracy's Final Words
(cut)
"I was able to maneuver my way through and muscle around some of the big guys. I got some people to believe in me. It was a wonderful feeling to make it to #9. I thought I was first, second, third, fourth, fifth and every single time I seemed to get a key for the door, or a window just opened and I went for the opportunity."
(cut)
"I think I did, I think I proved to some of the bigger guys who had me pegged from the beginning not to mess with the little people, because we can come back and bite yo on the ankles. It was a great feeling to take down Mikey B and Joel and those guys for giving us such grief all along the way. I had it every moment from the time I got on the island, they were all over me."
(cut)
"Ozzy's a wonderful player in this game, he's very experienced. Going against the favorites was quite difficult. I think we would have stood a better chance going against people who were more like ourselves and had not played the game. Ozzy is an amazing competitor. He is manipulative and strategic and he will definitely take the rest of the tribe down. They need to get rid of him ASAP or they don't stand a chance."
(cut)
"Ozzy's gonna beat 'em. He has Amanda on his side. If Amanda and Ozzy merge with Parvati and James, they're the final four."
Tribal Council Voting
Ozzy (Tracy with a heart): You said you're honest and that's bull. And you owe me a grand.
Cirie (Tracy): Sorry.
Erik (Tracey): I'm voting for Tracy because otherwise it would be me and it's about survival of myself right now. Sorry. Good luck. (puts his vote in the urn) Better you than me.
Tracy (Ozzy): This is because you wanted me out. Good player. No hard feelings.
Secret Scene Tracy
Exile Island lives up to its name as Tracy and Jason recover from a long, rainy and sleepless night.
Jason (to Tracy who is still inside a cave): Come on out, you gotta move around.
Tracy (solo): We had the worst storm I think anybody's ever seen in the game of Survivor last night. We were completely soaked all night long. Eight hours of soak. Our feet and arms ache from the cold. It was bad.
Tracy: It's so cold.
Jason: I don't know what to do.
Tracy: My hands are like so dead. My feet are so cold.
Tracy (solo): Last night we took a beating. We were ready to cry, both of us. There's only so much you can go until you get into hypothermia. Our legs were numb. Our hands were numb. When you get that cold and it's nighttime you can't keep your body warm. We were just rattling, we were so cold. I don't know. I want to stay in the game, I don't want to drop out, but when you're so cold, I mean...
Tracy: I can't take this sweater off yet. It's too cold. I'm just not ready yet.
Jason: Just sit down.
(Jason stands up, waves his hands at the sky)
Jason: I think we have blue skies coming our way.
Tracy: Really?
Jason: If it rains again I don't know what to do.
Tracy: Me either, babe.
(Tracy removes her sweater and trousers)
Tracy (solo): The sun's coming out right now. I feel like a new person. I'm gonna give it everything I've got right now to be positive. It's the best I can do out here on Exile Island.
Secret Scene Kathy
Jason: It's like a tree with zits. Even though ants are crawling all over them (the berries), who cares? I can get 'em out of my bag, right?
Kathy (solo): Jason says, "Hey Kathy, you wanna come with me and look for berries in the berry tree?" and I'm like, "Really?" I didn't know if I was being set up for something.
Kathy: What made you wanna come on Survivor, Jason? What would you like to use that million dollars for?
Kathy (solo): We walked back and I asked him why he was here and what it means to him.
Jason: It's definitely more than money. Coming out here and surviving is really teaching me how much I love my family. I think about them a lot. I almost broke down and cried the other day. Even just talking about it right now is like, "Oh yeah, here it comes." I can't wait to get back and tell 'em how much I love 'em.
Kathy: I can't wait to get a hug.
Jason: I definitely don't say it enough. I just can't wait to let 'em all know how important everything they taught me is.
Kathy: That's OK. It's OK to cry. (hugs Jason)
Kathy (solo): I had never seen that side of Jason. It's good to see an emotional side, because I thought I was the only crybaby out here. They're all being so stoic. Maybe they're getting something I'm missing. You're not crying, you're not breaking down, you're not missing your family. Is it just me?
Kathy: I put (her family) in my back pocket, because if I had 'em out here all the time I'd be useless. I'd just be useless. (cries) They mean everything to me.
Kathy (solo): We all have hearts, and some are trying to hide it a little bit harder than others.
Kathy: Well, it's good to get to know a little more about ya there, Mowgli.
Kathy (solo): I'm just trying to connect with another human being, cause I'm just trying to get through hour by hour.
Letters From Home
Ami: Is it family stuff? It is! No way!
(Ozzy hands out the letters)
Ami (solo): The reward was one surprise after the next. Yahtzee! We got letters from home.
(everyone's teary as they read their letters)
Ami: You guys, this is awesome to be experiencing this together. (Ozzy hugs her)
Erik (solo): It's very strange to think about home being on the other side of the world. Faraway used to be this place. Now faraway is my home. But we're still connected. We still understand that we're a family. We're still together. That doesn't make me feel so alone anymore, even though the world is so big.
Kathy the Day After
(cut)
"This eperience has changed me tremendously. When I was out there and talked with Ami on Exile Island, she said her first time on Survivor had made her free herself. She purged herself of things that she didn't need things to live, she got rid of things. I looked at Ami and said this has taught me that my whole life I felt like I didn't have things. I grew up poor. I finally have things that make me feel secure and safe and comfortable. This has taught me I'm going to go home and hug my things, I'm gonna scoop all my things close to me. Maybe even get more things and appreciate all my things. If anybody tries to take my things from me I'll chew their arms off, I'll fight them back. I mean it has made me the little family that I have, my husband and my daughter, has made me realize those are the most important things in life. A million dollars? You could have offered 7 million and I wouldn't take it. It's made me realize to me the way I grew up and the way I am that the answer for me in life is my family. My daughter and my husband."
(cut)
"When you live your normal life in your little apartment or house and you have your phone and your bed and your covers or a blanket or a sweater you take all those things for granted that they will keep you warm, keep you safe. A roof over your head. When you're out here, you have nothing. You have the clothes you wear and you don't have a roof. When it rains and you're soaking yet you don't dry for 4 days. The fact of being dry, you don't even have that here. It's something you don't experience back home because when it starts raining you have an umbrella, or you go into a house, or you duck under a doorway. There's none of that out here. You're exposed to the element to the basic...I felt like an animal out there. I felt like a basic...any dignity or sense of security or safety was completely stripped away. It scared the crap out of me."
(cut)
"You think when you come out here you have some basic sense of yourself. Like, 'Bring it on. I can handle and take anything. Bring it on.' It's very hard, I don't want to say shameful, but it's hard to be honest with yourself when it does break you. It broke me hard and it was hard to admit it. It was hard to admit I couldn't do it. I believe with every ounce of my being that I could do it, that I was somehow superhuman or I got this licked. It was very hard to admit it beat me down."
(cut)
"I am in awe of every person who's ever played the game of Survivor. It's not easy. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done. Childbirth, I thought that was tough. Nah. That compared to this was a piece of cake. Piece of cake. I'd rather whip out eight more kids in ten minutes than do this again. That's how much harder Survivor is."
(cut)
"That I made it 19 days to me was phenomenal. I did not realize the day they dropped us off on that island what it was going to be. I had a whole different picture. That I wasn't gone after the first 3 amazes me. That I went 19, that I went half. I'm already saying I kicked some ass for me out there. I'm already looking at it like wow I did 19 days. That's pretty cool for a middle-aged lady."
Tracy the Day After
(cut)
"I noticed myself unraveling and coming to layers I didn't want to expose to people, but I didn't know how much other people did, cause they never saw me on the show as a threat, they saw me as a vote. That was interesting, because I'm quite the opposite. I came from 3/7, out of the gates. 3/7. I never had a chance to prove myself as a threat. That was the hard part for me."
(cut)
"I would play the game absolutely if we started tomorrow, I would play the game completely opposite. I would be without fear I'm going to die, without fear I'm going to get dizzy and pass out. You move on, you cut open another coconut, you realize you can swing the machete 52 more times than you think you could've for 10 minutes. You waste so much time not worrying about the frivolous, and you play the game. You play the game because it's Survivor and you're not truly going to die. You're going to hit bottoms and levels you've not hit before, you're gonna get dizzy, you're gonna have to get up slower, but I would have played the game not worrying about how long it's going to take me to get there, but every moment of the journey. That old cliche. That's how I'd play the game differently."
(cut)
"I butted heads with Jason from the very beginning, and I'll tell you why I'm bringing this up. Jason was with the island from the moment he hit the island. It wasn't until after I was able to make up with him that I realized how much I butted heads with him. He's 22 and I'm 43. This kid's wallowing in the dirt and is up every day, but it's not so much that he's wallowing in the dirt and up every day but it wasnt' so much he was wallowing in the dirt and swinging and hit the coconut with the machete and pure exhaustion. He became with the island, and that's the biggest controversy I had with him because I envied it. I was so pissed this kid who was 22 years old that hadn't seen what I'd seen around the world was able to jump out and do something I wanted to do so bad. I don't think it was youth, I think it was mindset. Hindsight, he was in a place mentally I thought I was. He told me I wasn't when I got there and that was it blew my mind. I butted heads when he told me to get firewood, get this, get that. All I wanted was to feel the way he felt the whole time with the island."
(cut)
"One of the things I prepared for the least was the shift in lack of control, being a builder and having a regimented lifestyle I do have, being able to eat when I want to eat dinner, hey it's quitting time guys, we're getting out of here, we're leaving. Having no control, and having to ask everyone else to concur before you leave was huge. It was huge. No one cares about your money, your smile, the way you look in a swimsuit, the way you talk, your dynamics, no one cares. It's what are you going to bring to give anybody comfort in that moment. That was very very hard. It was harder than I ever prepared for. It was amazing."
(cut)
"I knew there would be bugs and rats and insects, but I never thought they'd be attacking my body. You ask yourself, you wanna quit? Then when you're able to go through that you just have to admire the kids who are 22 or 23 years of age who are actually going through the things you thought you could easily, because of your age and knowledge and what you thought you could do. Age and physical agility means nothing in the game of Survivor. It's your mental state and what you brought with you. It's a humming experience inside of you. A lot of times I'd sit on the island and you could feel this humming inside you. You could feel your heart beat. At any given moment you could feel your heart beat. It's like today what are you gonna do to make these people believe in you. First you had to make yourself believe in you. You want all these people to believe in you and you don't even believe in yourself yet. It's getting over that threshold. It was an amazing experience and I'd do it again tomorrow."
Going up against the Favorites was a huge challenge for the first timers, but Tracy went out fighting, and she always stood up to the bigger guys who seemed to be running the game.
"Wow, this experience will take you mentally and physically to places you never thought you'd go. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. I'm truly just so pleased and thankful to have the experience to do this, and I wish I could have stayed in longer. I went out kicking, I did everything I could. I'm just grateful to be here. Thanks."(cut)
"I was able to maneuver my way through and muscle around some of the big guys. I got some people to believe in me. It was a wonderful feeling to make it to #9. I thought I was first, second, third, fourth, fifth and every single time I seemed to get a key for the door, or a window just opened and I went for the opportunity."
(cut)
"I think I did, I think I proved to some of the bigger guys who had me pegged from the beginning not to mess with the little people, because we can come back and bite yo on the ankles. It was a great feeling to take down Mikey B and Joel and those guys for giving us such grief all along the way. I had it every moment from the time I got on the island, they were all over me."
(cut)
"Ozzy's a wonderful player in this game, he's very experienced. Going against the favorites was quite difficult. I think we would have stood a better chance going against people who were more like ourselves and had not played the game. Ozzy is an amazing competitor. He is manipulative and strategic and he will definitely take the rest of the tribe down. They need to get rid of him ASAP or they don't stand a chance."
(cut)
"Ozzy's gonna beat 'em. He has Amanda on his side. If Amanda and Ozzy merge with Parvati and James, they're the final four."
Tribal Council Voting
The tribemates cast their votes and another Survivor is sent home.
Amanda (Tracy with a heart): Tracy I think you're a doll, but we just have to go on the majority vote on this one. We're gonna go with short-term challenges for now. It's between you and Erik and he's better at challenges. I'm sorry.
Ami (Tracey with a heart): Trace, I wish you could have stayed in the game a little bit longer. I think we could have had fun together. Sorry to see you go.Ozzy (Tracy with a heart): You said you're honest and that's bull. And you owe me a grand.
Cirie (Tracy): Sorry.
Erik (Tracey): I'm voting for Tracy because otherwise it would be me and it's about survival of myself right now. Sorry. Good luck. (puts his vote in the urn) Better you than me.
Tracy (Ozzy): This is because you wanted me out. Good player. No hard feelings.
Secret Scene Tracy
Exile Island lives up to its name as Tracy and Jason recover from a long, rainy and sleepless night.
Jason (to Tracy who is still inside a cave): Come on out, you gotta move around.
Tracy (solo): We had the worst storm I think anybody's ever seen in the game of Survivor last night. We were completely soaked all night long. Eight hours of soak. Our feet and arms ache from the cold. It was bad.
Tracy: It's so cold.
Jason: I don't know what to do.
Tracy: My hands are like so dead. My feet are so cold.
Tracy (solo): Last night we took a beating. We were ready to cry, both of us. There's only so much you can go until you get into hypothermia. Our legs were numb. Our hands were numb. When you get that cold and it's nighttime you can't keep your body warm. We were just rattling, we were so cold. I don't know. I want to stay in the game, I don't want to drop out, but when you're so cold, I mean...
Tracy: I can't take this sweater off yet. It's too cold. I'm just not ready yet.
Jason: Just sit down.
(Jason stands up, waves his hands at the sky)
Jason: I think we have blue skies coming our way.
Tracy: Really?
Jason: If it rains again I don't know what to do.
Tracy: Me either, babe.
(Tracy removes her sweater and trousers)
Tracy (solo): The sun's coming out right now. I feel like a new person. I'm gonna give it everything I've got right now to be positive. It's the best I can do out here on Exile Island.
Secret Scene Kathy
Kathy is flabbergasted when Jason confides to her that he misses his family and the unconditional love and support they offer. Watch as these two unlikely friends share a teary moment.
Kathy: Wow, this is the weirdest looking tree I've ever seen.Jason: It's like a tree with zits. Even though ants are crawling all over them (the berries), who cares? I can get 'em out of my bag, right?
Kathy (solo): Jason says, "Hey Kathy, you wanna come with me and look for berries in the berry tree?" and I'm like, "Really?" I didn't know if I was being set up for something.
Kathy: What made you wanna come on Survivor, Jason? What would you like to use that million dollars for?
Kathy (solo): We walked back and I asked him why he was here and what it means to him.
Jason: It's definitely more than money. Coming out here and surviving is really teaching me how much I love my family. I think about them a lot. I almost broke down and cried the other day. Even just talking about it right now is like, "Oh yeah, here it comes." I can't wait to get back and tell 'em how much I love 'em.
Kathy: I can't wait to get a hug.
Jason: I definitely don't say it enough. I just can't wait to let 'em all know how important everything they taught me is.
Kathy: That's OK. It's OK to cry. (hugs Jason)
Kathy (solo): I had never seen that side of Jason. It's good to see an emotional side, because I thought I was the only crybaby out here. They're all being so stoic. Maybe they're getting something I'm missing. You're not crying, you're not breaking down, you're not missing your family. Is it just me?
Kathy: I put (her family) in my back pocket, because if I had 'em out here all the time I'd be useless. I'd just be useless. (cries) They mean everything to me.
Kathy (solo): We all have hearts, and some are trying to hide it a little bit harder than others.
Kathy: Well, it's good to get to know a little more about ya there, Mowgli.
Kathy (solo): I'm just trying to connect with another human being, cause I'm just trying to get through hour by hour.
Letters From Home
While enjoying their moment away at the Herbal Essences Great Escape Spa, the reward reaches new heights as the tribe receives their letters from home.
(Ozzy opens a container)Ami: Is it family stuff? It is! No way!
(Ozzy hands out the letters)
Ami (solo): The reward was one surprise after the next. Yahtzee! We got letters from home.
(everyone's teary as they read their letters)
Ami: You guys, this is awesome to be experiencing this together. (Ozzy hugs her)
Erik (solo): It's very strange to think about home being on the other side of the world. Faraway used to be this place. Now faraway is my home. But we're still connected. We still understand that we're a family. We're still together. That doesn't make me feel so alone anymore, even though the world is so big.
Kathy the Day After
Kathy felt she didn't fit in from day one. But the hardest obstacle for her to overcome was admitting defeat when the game finally got to her.
"I felt like I didn't fit in because from day one everyone seemed like they had their act together. Everyone seemed like they were either young or hot. It was grouped off already. People prejudge you before they ever get to know you, before you speak one word. I'm guilty of prejudging some of the people here too, like some of the younger, hotter girls with the...I'm a little guilty of prejudging them as being I don't want to say fake or phony, but...I just felt judged immediately like maybe I'm this older wacky person who won't fit in because I don't know maybe I'm tall or I look funny or..."(cut)
"This eperience has changed me tremendously. When I was out there and talked with Ami on Exile Island, she said her first time on Survivor had made her free herself. She purged herself of things that she didn't need things to live, she got rid of things. I looked at Ami and said this has taught me that my whole life I felt like I didn't have things. I grew up poor. I finally have things that make me feel secure and safe and comfortable. This has taught me I'm going to go home and hug my things, I'm gonna scoop all my things close to me. Maybe even get more things and appreciate all my things. If anybody tries to take my things from me I'll chew their arms off, I'll fight them back. I mean it has made me the little family that I have, my husband and my daughter, has made me realize those are the most important things in life. A million dollars? You could have offered 7 million and I wouldn't take it. It's made me realize to me the way I grew up and the way I am that the answer for me in life is my family. My daughter and my husband."
(cut)
"When you live your normal life in your little apartment or house and you have your phone and your bed and your covers or a blanket or a sweater you take all those things for granted that they will keep you warm, keep you safe. A roof over your head. When you're out here, you have nothing. You have the clothes you wear and you don't have a roof. When it rains and you're soaking yet you don't dry for 4 days. The fact of being dry, you don't even have that here. It's something you don't experience back home because when it starts raining you have an umbrella, or you go into a house, or you duck under a doorway. There's none of that out here. You're exposed to the element to the basic...I felt like an animal out there. I felt like a basic...any dignity or sense of security or safety was completely stripped away. It scared the crap out of me."
(cut)
"You think when you come out here you have some basic sense of yourself. Like, 'Bring it on. I can handle and take anything. Bring it on.' It's very hard, I don't want to say shameful, but it's hard to be honest with yourself when it does break you. It broke me hard and it was hard to admit it. It was hard to admit I couldn't do it. I believe with every ounce of my being that I could do it, that I was somehow superhuman or I got this licked. It was very hard to admit it beat me down."
(cut)
"I am in awe of every person who's ever played the game of Survivor. It's not easy. It's the most difficult thing I've ever done. Childbirth, I thought that was tough. Nah. That compared to this was a piece of cake. Piece of cake. I'd rather whip out eight more kids in ten minutes than do this again. That's how much harder Survivor is."
(cut)
"That I made it 19 days to me was phenomenal. I did not realize the day they dropped us off on that island what it was going to be. I had a whole different picture. That I wasn't gone after the first 3 amazes me. That I went 19, that I went half. I'm already saying I kicked some ass for me out there. I'm already looking at it like wow I did 19 days. That's pretty cool for a middle-aged lady."
Tracy the Day After
Tracy describes the out-of-body feeling of not being in control day in and day out. Looking back, would she have played the game differently? Find out now!
"One of the most fascinating things about the show to me, or being in the game of Survivor, is the melting pot of all these personalities that come together. The dynamics of who they are and we all have this common denominator of winning a million dollars. It's the layering, like an onion, at what point is one person going to pull ahead, to dominate or take lead or strategize. We're all doing it but at what point does the peeling of that onion come back, the personality of that person. The layering, everyone who has been picked to be on the show is unique, they all have these dynamic characteristics. They evolve as the show goes along. That's my favorite part to see these personalities just unravel."(cut)
"I noticed myself unraveling and coming to layers I didn't want to expose to people, but I didn't know how much other people did, cause they never saw me on the show as a threat, they saw me as a vote. That was interesting, because I'm quite the opposite. I came from 3/7, out of the gates. 3/7. I never had a chance to prove myself as a threat. That was the hard part for me."
(cut)
"I would play the game absolutely if we started tomorrow, I would play the game completely opposite. I would be without fear I'm going to die, without fear I'm going to get dizzy and pass out. You move on, you cut open another coconut, you realize you can swing the machete 52 more times than you think you could've for 10 minutes. You waste so much time not worrying about the frivolous, and you play the game. You play the game because it's Survivor and you're not truly going to die. You're going to hit bottoms and levels you've not hit before, you're gonna get dizzy, you're gonna have to get up slower, but I would have played the game not worrying about how long it's going to take me to get there, but every moment of the journey. That old cliche. That's how I'd play the game differently."
(cut)
"I butted heads with Jason from the very beginning, and I'll tell you why I'm bringing this up. Jason was with the island from the moment he hit the island. It wasn't until after I was able to make up with him that I realized how much I butted heads with him. He's 22 and I'm 43. This kid's wallowing in the dirt and is up every day, but it's not so much that he's wallowing in the dirt and up every day but it wasnt' so much he was wallowing in the dirt and swinging and hit the coconut with the machete and pure exhaustion. He became with the island, and that's the biggest controversy I had with him because I envied it. I was so pissed this kid who was 22 years old that hadn't seen what I'd seen around the world was able to jump out and do something I wanted to do so bad. I don't think it was youth, I think it was mindset. Hindsight, he was in a place mentally I thought I was. He told me I wasn't when I got there and that was it blew my mind. I butted heads when he told me to get firewood, get this, get that. All I wanted was to feel the way he felt the whole time with the island."
(cut)
"One of the things I prepared for the least was the shift in lack of control, being a builder and having a regimented lifestyle I do have, being able to eat when I want to eat dinner, hey it's quitting time guys, we're getting out of here, we're leaving. Having no control, and having to ask everyone else to concur before you leave was huge. It was huge. No one cares about your money, your smile, the way you look in a swimsuit, the way you talk, your dynamics, no one cares. It's what are you going to bring to give anybody comfort in that moment. That was very very hard. It was harder than I ever prepared for. It was amazing."
(cut)
"I knew there would be bugs and rats and insects, but I never thought they'd be attacking my body. You ask yourself, you wanna quit? Then when you're able to go through that you just have to admire the kids who are 22 or 23 years of age who are actually going through the things you thought you could easily, because of your age and knowledge and what you thought you could do. Age and physical agility means nothing in the game of Survivor. It's your mental state and what you brought with you. It's a humming experience inside of you. A lot of times I'd sit on the island and you could feel this humming inside you. You could feel your heart beat. At any given moment you could feel your heart beat. It's like today what are you gonna do to make these people believe in you. First you had to make yourself believe in you. You want all these people to believe in you and you don't even believe in yourself yet. It's getting over that threshold. It was an amazing experience and I'd do it again tomorrow."
... I thought that when Jonathan left, so did their brains....)