Your biggest cooking disaster

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Angela in WI) — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:11:14 GMT

Motherfuck I could go for some pancakes right now.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Tres Gay) — Tue, 13 May 2008 19:09:57 GMT

Ooh, two more:

1) I was marinading some venison using a recipe from one of my mom's cookbooks. It called for eight CUPS of vinegar. I thought that sounded like a lot, but I'm not a cook so I follow directions precisely. Holy Jesus. The deer douche smell was so strong it escaped the fridge.

2) Less than two years ago I decided to try to make mac n cheese following a recipe in OT (it may have been TC's or Beep's). I didn't have flour so I used pancake...

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Dire Potatoe) — Tue, 13 May 2008 18:02:41 GMT

In college I was talked into making a birthday cake for a girl I was dating. I know I know, but I was in art school and everyone said it would be so much fun to decorate.

So I made the cake, bought all those pots of food color that's solid and some parchment paper with nozzles, and mixed some pretty colors using frosting from the store. If I must say so myself, the cake was a masterpiece. She loved plants and I'd made intricate vines with passionflowers all over the cake,...

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Driv) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:57:45 GMT

I once undercooked a Beef Wellington and a wrinkly pussy boy Brit yelled at me.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (MrsT715) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:57:25 GMT

Bet that chili was finger nickin' good.

I put too much baking soda in a cake recipe. It foamed up the pan & all over the oven.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (TC) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:54:16 GMT

This one time while I was making chili, I sliced my finger off. I got fired from Wendy's.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (token lunatic) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:49:28 GMT

I once made dumplings--the southern kind, not the oriental kind--then proceeded to cook them in my chicken stock I had simmering for a couple of hours. My big mistake: I had rolled out my dough on a sheet of aluminum foil and to my horror, there were holes all throughout the sheet. I ran and scooped out a dumpling to see if there were tinfoil bits. There were black specks everywhere but in my blind panic, I couldn' tell if it was pepper or foil. I threw the whole batch away....

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Trixie Delight) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:48:34 GMT

One time I didn't slice the garlic paper thin enough and Paulie bashed my skull in with a baseball bat.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (TC) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:40:28 GMT

Oh and that other time, I was making unbrined turkey for thanksgiving and my freind Joey got it caught on his head.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (TC) — Tue, 13 May 2008 17:38:23 GMT

This one time I was heating up some soup while talking on the phone. The dish towel caught on fire and spread to the ant spray I had sprayed all over the counters. I tried to put it out with the garden hose, but I had bought a short one so it didn't reach and the curtains with the corn cobs on them went up too. Thank god Deborah was there with the fire extinguisher.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (PAPAYOKE) — Tue, 13 May 2008 09:25:50 GMT

I was following a paella recipe in one issue of the BON APPETIT magazine. I thought there was an error in the amount of onions it was calling for, but figured, since I wasn't a chef, I'd just follow the instructions. Horrible. Too much onion. The paella tasted bitter and the onion-saffron smell overwhelmed my home for about a day.

NEVER FORGET.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (nomellons) — Tue, 13 May 2008 09:18:31 GMT

My neighbor called one evening witha family emergency and asked me to come over and watch her kids. I left brats boiling on the stove -- turned down to simmer. My husband and her husband both got home and when she got home and all was well we opened a bottle of wine and ate at their house. When we got home 4 hours later, the brats were like burnt cocktail weenies and the anodized steel pan was practically glowing it was so hot. It is a miracle a fire did not break out.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (speedyforme) — Tue, 13 May 2008 08:41:35 GMT

RoMa wrote:

speedyforme wrote:
I have never used the oven because I am too scurred. I never bake, you can never save a baking disaster.

You are the most sheltered gay I ever knew. Girlfriend you need to open up those boundaries if you think you are ever going to live alone

What do I...

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (ashley madison) — Tue, 13 May 2008 08:40:57 GMT

I shudder to think of the threads he'll start when he does.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (RoMa) — Tue, 13 May 2008 08:38:06 GMT

speedyforme wrote:
I have never used the oven because I am too scurred. I never bake, you can never save a baking disaster.

You are the most sheltered gay I ever knew. Girlfriend you need to open up those boundaries if you think you are ever going to live alone

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Apprentice Talker) — Tue, 13 May 2008 08:29:36 GMT

I heated a viand with aluminum foil in microwave cookware and it accidentally burned.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (speedyforme) — Tue, 13 May 2008 06:45:04 GMT

I have never used the oven because I am too scurred. I never bake, you can never save a baking disaster.

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (LennonFan) — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:14:59 GMT

When I was about 14 I decided to make popcorn balls. I had the recipe and all, it seemed simple, right? Well that's when I discovered that I was absolutely unable to make popcorn on the stove like mom did. The shit burned so bad that you could barely see in the kitchen! My parents came home and thought the house was on fire due to the smoke pouring out of the window.

I've never attempted "old fashioned" popcorn again. It's either air popped or microwave.
...

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (rolandofthewhite) — Mon, 12 May 2008 23:32:20 GMT

I've almost set fire to my apartment kitchen numerous times. I think the last time I was making hard-boiled eggs, went back to my bedroom while they were cooking, and only remember when the fire alarms went off and smoke started pouring through my door. I've done the same thing with chicken.

And every single fucking time, my roommate comes out and stares at me like I'm retarded, while I run around trying to put out the fire.

Oh, and my cookies are like cement....

Re: Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (Modesty) — Mon, 12 May 2008 20:51:40 GMT

Margarine.

Was heating water for my tea and forgot about it. The bottom on my stainless steel pan melted.

Your biggest cooking disaster

feeds@yuku.com (HoboKitty) — Mon, 12 May 2008 13:20:25 GMT

Mine was a soup I made in my college days. I made a big batch so I didn't have to cook for the rest of the week. Little did I know...

Ingredients:

-noodles
-chicken stock
-mustard
-frozen peas
-frozen spinach
-leftover mystery sauce from the previous week's Chinese takeout
-orange-flavored metamucil
-and....frozen chicken nuggets

The base of the soup got lumpy because the metamucil and the mystery sauce clumped together,...